Tsuki

So, Life has happened.

2012-01-16T11:49:00.004-06:00

Since my last post, anyway.

I've had a semi-long relationship that ended poorly. A much shorter relationship that ended worse. A few lovely flings, and heaps of low self esteem. A new friend. A best friend. A new job which was fantastic, then shitty, then quit. And then another job which has just begun. New responsibilities. New outlook on life. New outlook on relationships. A few bad decisions. A few good ones. One amazing one.
I've drawn...a lot. And tumblr'd. I've used and lost photoshop. I've dabbled in computer-fiddling. I've had a falling-out. A falling-in. A rough patch at home. A re-connection with my mother. I've sung. I've sung a lot. I've new friends. I've old friends. I've rediscovered the magic that is The Doctor (to a fault).
I've decided what I'm doing with my life.
I will be in the Air Force.
I am an American Airman.
I am a Warrior.
I have answered my nation's call.

loltextit.

I am selling bracelets!

2011-02-18T09:34:00.002-06:00

I'm selling handmade bracelets at $1.00 each (plus $.50 for shipping)!
Each bracelet can have up to 5 colors (minimum 2) of your choice!
If you're interested, be sure to send me a message to tea561@ymail.com!

Lol a buy now button just cos :)

Suddenly inspired

2011-02-10T19:36:00.001-06:00

To paint or draw or...something.

I want to do something difficult. Like, a crowd scene with an intricate background?

Rawr, I hate feeling creative with now outleetttt :(

Because happy, that's why.

2010-11-22T00:48:00.001-06:00

You make me happy.

That is all.

34.
155 (give or take).
Forever.

I miss you

2010-11-07T22:49:00.004-06:00

So much.

I want to rewind the clock.

Go back a few weeks.

Relive the 16th-18th of October

It's only been 20 days.

Why does it feel like it's been so much longer?

BecauseIloveyou,that'swhy.

BecauseIneedyou.

At least we have googletalk and Heywire, right?

And facebook and videos?

Technology isn't all that bad, is it?

It's my savior right now.

It will continue to be until you come back.

Come back.

New tattoo!

2010-09-28T15:18:00.004-05:00

Completed!

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, which is nice.

But it definitely huuurrtt.

Luckily I had a couple of really awesome friends there who made it a lot more bearable.

Also, Ice cream afterwards didn't hurt anyone XD

So, I made an FB album of the process.

Here ya go!

For the curious few:

When I say it hurt, imagine a bunch of tiny rubberbands slapping you. Many, many times.

You know how it burns and stings more as you progress? Yeah.

And the closer to the tender part of my chest (the bottom of the last hirigana and the closing quotation (looks like a bracket) mark felt like a legitimate burn.

My tip? Talking helped me. I talked quickly and without breathing (XD) about fish and colorful things and stupid professors and anything my Roommate, friend and I could think of. Eventually all we were saying is "ICE CREAM SOON." "It's almost done!" "Omigod really?"

It helped distract me from the pain.

Also, I squeezed the crap out of my roomie's hand. (Thanks, Ange!) :D

Tattoo Blog

2010-09-26T13:15:00.003-05:00

A few years ago (maybe 4?) I decided that I wanted a tattoo.

I had an idea of what I wanted (ganbatte or ganbare in hiragana), but I had no idea when I would get it, how I wanted it to look or where I would want it.

Last year I began thinking about getting it on my wrist...it'd be visible, and easy to hide under long-sleeved things or thick wristbands.

I decided that's tacky a year later.

Having finally turned 18, I've decided it's high time I get this tattoo I've wanted since...freshman year in high school.

SO, come August, I began my more intense research.

I looked up how-tos on aftercare, I watched videos, I searched and asked questions on tattooing forums, I asked tattoo'd friends questions about the process, the aftermath and how they feel about their tattoos. I set a place I want the tattoo. I designed my tatttoo. I looked up portfolios of local artists, I asked more friends about said artists. I visited parlours; I scheduled a meeting with the artist I wanted. I looked at pictures of nasty, nasty infections. I looked at pictures of old people with tattoos. I looked up screwed up tattoos. I looked up femme tattoos; I looked up step-by-step guides for the process and aftercare. I looked up accounts from other first-time tattooers.

So. Every day I'm going to post about the process and what's happening to me/my tattoo.

Day one: 7 hours until tattoo.

I will draw this later...

2010-07-28T20:40:00.002-05:00

"Hello, Ali Baba Grill."

"Hello, is this the Ali Baba Grill?"

"Yes."

"Do you do buffet?"

"Yes, our buffet is from 11-3."

"And what time is your buffet?"

"From 11-3 Sunday through Friday."

"Okay so your buffet is 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Do you have buffet Sunday?"

"Yes."

"From 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Okay, thank you, bye-bye."

"Bye."

*facepalm*

Happy

2010-07-13T11:58:00.004-05:00

Goodness, I'm happy.

I've a good job, great coworkers, an awesome guy...

I've surpassed my monetary goal for the summer...

I've managed to go out most days after work (though never very far) with my local friends, I've been able to see mom on some of my days off, and I'm finally getting to know Irving.

I mean, sure, there are things I'd like to do better, or have more time for, but overall.... I'm pretty darned happy.

Estoy contento con mi vida, ahora :)

(^Definitely guessed at the phrasing. Is that correct at all?)

Quotable Quotes

2010-07-04T00:12:00.002-05:00

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."~ Ingrid Bergmen

-We should totally go to Applebees.

-[Horrified look] Huh?

-Well, not now. Later.

-Oh [pause] yeah. I've always wanted a daughter.

-Ohgodno.

(get it? Applebees-Have Babies)

~Conversation amongst friends.

"I want to crush you up and make perfume out of you." ~ Alan

Areallie.blog.com

2010-06-23T07:44:00.002-05:00

This is my best friend's blog.

She posted something about having her wants and needs cross paths...I responded

"You want to live, yes? And breathing is necessary for living. You -need- to breathe.
They’ve crossed paths, honey.
I’m sure this hit you because we’re out of high school. Our wants are rationalized now. We can’t want everything anymore. It’s irresponsible, it’s impossible and it’s disappointing. Now we’ve both reached a stage in our life that requires us to decide if we really need something, including needing to want something."

I felt it was something I should share.
Also, go check out her blog.

www.areallie.blog.com

She's a gifted writer.

Senior Year is almost over

2010-05-23T11:08:00.003-05:00

Thespian Induction, Prom and Sign-out sheets all point to one thing: The end of Senior Year.

It's an exciting time.
I'm ready to move on to the next step in life-to go to college.
But, I'm nervous and I will miss everyone OH SO MUCH.

Anyway.
Boring blogpost over.

Commence the Count-down

2010-05-03T13:28:00.004-05:00

There are:

12 SCHOOL DAYS until my final Final Exam

16 DAYS until my final Final Exam

23 SCHOOL DAYS until Graduation

30 DAYS until Graduation

25 DAYS and 1 MONTH until Freshman Orientation at UNT

22 DAYS and 3 MONTHS until I turn 18

23 DAYS and 3 MONTHS until my first day at UNT

Here's a count-down :3

Ahhhhhhhhh

2010-05-02T12:32:00.002-05:00

What to do?

Updating blogs while being bored is not a good idea.

Throw in jaw-pain and random over-excitement for college and you've got a mixture for disaster!

SO, to entertain myself....please, please go to my formspring and ask me questions!

As a soon-to-be College Student

2010-05-01T20:34:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty darned stoked.

And I feel it's high-time I show some spirit for my new school: University of North Texas!

Now, for all of you who don't know what the CLAW OF DOOM is, I will now walk you through it, step-by-step.

FIRST: Put your right hand in the air and make a fist!

NEXT: Make a peace sign using your middle and pointer fingers

THEN: Throw your thumb out, like you're a small german child counting to "three"

FINALLY: Slightly curve your fingers inward, making a claw!

YOUR HAND SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS:

Anyway, go Eagles!

Death

2010-04-29T22:00:00.002-05:00

Death is a scary thing.

However, it's not necessarily the "dying" part that scares me.

It's the finality of it.

The fact that, after that last breath, nothing will come after it.

Nothing is in your control anymore, and people will move on.

Without You.

I don't think people are afraid of death. Not really, anyway.

People are afraid of losing control.

Losing the ability to foresee and follow through.

Once you've died, that's it.

There's no more.

The world you've created is literally out of your hands.

And that is a scary thought.

Thanks, Death of a Salesman.

10 things

2010-03-17T11:07:00.002-05:00

Gloomyunderwoods on Deviant Art posted this new meme "Childhood beliefs" where you write down 10 things you used to believe as a child.
Hopefully tomorrow or sometime soon I'll illustrate these and post them too :)
I have some cute ideas for them!

Anyway here they are:
---
1. I could "scare" traffic lights into changing to green
2. It was possible to grow up to be an animal of some sort (usually a feline).
3. If it was darker in a specific spot than the surrounding area, there was a portal to a seperate dimension hidden there, and if you get too close you'll get pulled in. This portal showed up in my shower during hide-and-seek a LOT.
4. If I closed my eyes, crossed my legs and concentrated hard enough, I could float up/down the stairs.
5. 16 was the absolute best age EVAR. You could drive, were pretty, were in high school and had a boyfriend. Basically, you're a mini-adult PLUS all the fun!
6. All my dolls, stuffed animals and toys would "come to life" when I was not looking, or wasn't around. And if I abused them, they would become sad and despondent.
7. God had a little camera installed in each room, and in the trees outside so he could see you on one of those massive security-camera-screen things you see in the movies.
8. My mom had magic-hands. Once, my leg was absolutely COVERED in ants, and she swiped down my leg, and all the ants disappeared.
9. If you cut a sandwich into triangles, as opposed to squares, the sandwich will taste better.
10. Barney was real. I saw a Barney concert, and though I could see where his head, hands and feet met the main part of his costume, I couldn't find a zipper. I assumed he was wearing protective gear that looked exactly like his hands/feet/head to keep him from getting sick or hurt or something. But...no zipper=real.

Hmmm..Colleges, Colleges.

2010-03-02T20:50:00.002-06:00

I've been accepted to:

Drexel

Kings College

Stephens College

I've been rejected from:

University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music (CCM)

I'm still awaiting letters from:

Ithaca College

NYU ~ Tisch

Southern Methodist University.

AHHSOSTRESSED.

formspring.me

2010-02-26T19:31:00.001-06:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/bokuwashitteru

formspring.me

2010-02-24T21:59:00.002-06:00

What a waste of a post.

Sometimes

2010-02-15T21:47:00.002-06:00

I feel invisible. Which is a horrible feeling, you know?

The kind where people sit on you because they "didn't see you there," or look directly at you, but are actually staring at that poster behind your head, and they didn't realize they were looking in your direction?

And I've had these boughts of invisibility here and there, generally on days where I feel useless or tired. But when I'm wide awake, talking, able and willing... that's when it's weird. That's when it sticks out.

Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you I don't shut up. Seriously. I'm the world's biggest blabbermouth. I will talk people into a stupor if they let me (but they generally won't let me). So when I'm talking, I don't expect you to pay attention to the crap pouring out of my mouth (that's what most of it is, anyway), but I do expect you to acknowledge my existence. Please?

Another self-absorbed issue I will now share with you, my loving anon: I've a crush and I've no clue what to do with it.

It's been a very long time since I've liked a guy and he didn't immediately proclaim he likes me back and promptly asks me to go out with him (to which I say yes). Albeit, I've never had such a problem with guys I seriously do -not- like (in that way) liking me, and continually (awkwardly) hitting on me. But, alas... I like a guy. I've actually had a dream about this guy (whoa, what?) and I'm pretty positive he doesn't like me back.

As a girl who's never had this issue, what the heck am I supposed to do?

Pine silently? Embarrass myself and ask him out (knowing he'll say no)? Or... wait?

BLUGH.

Also, mom says "pickle pickle!"

In a bit of an art-block. I want to draw, I really do; but after seeing my "artwork" in the form of real-life paints (acrylic) I'm utterly dissatisfied with my inability to do anything artistic outside of a computer. I want to practice on paper... I want to... I want...

Jesus, I'm self-centered.

No wonder I piss off people after knowing them so long...

Huh.

I guess that's what a blog is for though, right?

Talking about one's self to an anonymous audience that may or may not care (read: not) about what the heck it is I'm babbling about now.

Okay.

I need food.

I need someone to tell me I'm not pointless who isn't a concerned friend (read: a boyfriend).

ALSO.

If you're writing an essay and your teacher says "put your voice into it," don't put in cute phrases like "Read: [blankety blank-blank]". You'll get points knocked off for that. And a lovely red-inked note saying "Don't demand your reader to do anything. That's off-putting."

If I could, I would have added in a lovely green-inked response "Screw you."

MOSQUITO.

formspring.me

2010-02-13T10:13:00.001-06:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/bokuwashitteru

Ahhh

2010-02-11T21:35:00.002-06:00

First time in (what was it?) thirty-something years to snow six inches in Texas.

SIX INCHES!

---

Ninja was played far too frequently today, but that game is addicting so no one really cares. ;)

---

Stupid crushes are stupid, but for some reason I can't let this one go.

---

Humans' teeth are built to grind/tear through meat for a reason, so stop hounding me about enjoying my fear-filled meal (those who've seen August Osage County ought to get this one).

---

Only Mia knows the extent, but everyone'll find out anyway...but will [insert name here] figure it out? (Answer: Probably. I'm not good at being inconspicuous)

---

Had a dream about the school. Dancing in the costume shop was involved, as well as all the mimes. Other things were involved, of course, but I'm too lazy to type it out.

---

I'm downloading a song titled "Don't Download This Song." I am giggling to myself at the irony.

---

Rarely do I feel like I'm invisible (I talk far too much for that to be very possible), but when it happens... it sucks.

---

Joseph Conrad: I enjoy your books, but why do you have to be so long-winded? To prove you know how to write? Silly man, we all know you can!

---

Louisa May Alcott: Why was I so anti-"reading Little Women"?

Perhaps it was the bible that did the trick... You know, the one that hit me upside the head when I tried to check out that book? Yeah. That bible.

Anyway, it's been seven years since my last attempt, and I'm enjoying your book now :D

---

Ira Levin: Your book has motivated so much. An entire mime was written based off of your book (This Perfect Day), and it is what really, truly inspired my light design for said mime. Hearts!

---

Mia Antoinette Crowe: You understand me so well, it's actually scary. But I don't care. I'd rather accidentally get lost driving around with you than driving home alone any day. :)

---

Elizabeth Berkman: Mia and I were talking about how we envy you. You're brilliant, gorgeous and super talented. We don't know how you do it, but I love you :D

---

Amy Zapien: If you cut off all your hair, we must go man-hunting... and eat cake! And then we all will have a HUGE slumberparty or something! Yes!

---

Booker T: I've never not wanted to miss a day of school so much until today. Seriously. Snow day? People who live two hours north of us handle snow better! Blughbughbugh

HOWEVER, I guess I can't complain too much--sleeping in is something I have yet to experience this week, and I'd like to get a head start on it tomorrow! BUT WHY DID YOU CANCEL UTOPIA?!

---

I will seriously punch the next person who says "totes" to me. Or "jels," "lohl," "Burrb," "b-f-f," or any other stupidly abbreviated words to me. Seriously. Speak. English.

Art dump? YES AGAIN!

2010-01-19T14:14:00.004-06:00

Okay, for this I must elaborate.

I'm notorious for dying/cutting/completely changing my hair every two or three months (in fact, I'm due again) at school. And every once and a while, people ask me "how many colours/cuts/styles have you done in the last four years?" And I never know what to answer. So, I dug up a bunch of old photos, and created this collage, from November my freshman year right up to now. Disclaimer: These are NOT all of the colours I've done. These are ONLY cuts :D.

This one, here, is part of a meme on Deviant art, where you draw yourself a few years ago, and yourself now.

As you can tell, I've...completely changed XD

At least my clothing matches, ne?

ART DUMP? WHY YES.

2010-01-19T14:04:00.004-06:00

"Working on backgrounds"
"Slimfast+Burger=Wrong!"
"insomni-bunny"

"jillian"
"CAD? Oh yes"
"Bou: Complete"
"Abstract"
"Doodles. Bleh"

I'm Quite Possibly THE biggest dork :D

2009-12-30T12:54:00.003-06:00

I love my new bamboo pen tablet. And my new eensy computer. And my nifty gps (Named Winifred..She's Bridget's long-lost cousin ;p), and all the cute clothes and the nifty purse and the cool (like, seriously) calendar thing. Awesome Christmas. For realsies.

AND
With my new Tablet and my eensy computer, I have been making ARTS!
So, I will share!
And if you have a Deviant Art, click this link and follow me, or at least leave me comments XD
Here's a rough sketch of Bou (the finished is through that link I mentioned earlier. XD

So...yeah :)
Checkitout!

Last post: June 1, 2009

2009-12-08T21:56:00.003-06:00

Wow.

Like, pure...'wow.'

A little over six months ago, I posted on this poor, neglected blog...

Although,

A little over six months ago, I still had an inkling of a life (haha).

And a little under six months ago, I experienced the absolute best summer of my life at Perry-Mansfield. I was surrounded by so much creativity--so much talent--I remembered why I wanted to be an actress in the first place. No kiddin'

So, what's up?

Hmm, so where to begin?

Senior year~That sounds about right.

Senior year started a day before my birthday, and it was busy from the get-go.

I was thrown head-first into the tech-world of theatre; I joined the school's Light Brigade (Advanced Lighting-we design, hang, strike and basically control all aspects of light in pretty much every show that is put up within our school building's walls....that's over 35 performances-not including the senior-run productions). I also discovered I was out-of-shape thanks to a birthday-whoopin' in African Dance. (But I got my mojo back, no worries!)

I also did an out-of-school production of Calamity Jane at Rockwall Community Playhouse-that was a fun adventure...I got my first Choreographer credit!!

I also have an internship at the Dallas Theatre Center through our audition-only class "Advanced Acting" taught by Lisa Holland and Kevin Moriarity (

And, to top it off, I've joined the Mock Trial team (again, I know ;p) and have thus given up all chances of having a life for my lovely senior year.

How do I do it all? (Lol, I'm not that self-centered)

Let's see, I'll outline a daily schedule (if my description didn't get you a-quakin' in your boots)

Monday: Arrive at school around 7:45 to begin Senior Direct (10 minute plays) with the lovely Elizabeth. I'm performing as "Jordan" in Lakyn Carlton's Addict. School from 8:55-4:10. 4:30-6:30 is African Dance Ensemble. After 6:30, it's either an hour-drive home, or off to my internship at DTC.

Tuesday: Rinse and repeat, skipping the final two steps. Add a healthy dose of Mock Trial meeting until 6:30, follow with intern hours or home. Optional: Tuesday-morning Production Meeting regarding Utopia (will explain later)

Wednesday: Substitute "Senior Direct" with "Mock Trial" early morning, repeat. Replace after-school Mock Trial with African Dance, finish per usual.

Thursday: Follow Tuesday's schedule, "optional" is not available.

Friday: Repeat Wednesday morning to afternoon schedule. After-school is replaced with home or intern hours.

Saturday: 2-6/10-3/whatever-Mock Trial

Sunday: FREEDOM?!?! (A. No.)

Where does homework fit in all of this?

Who knows XD

What's coming up:

Utopia is the school's Mime production for the spring. The reason I'm attending production meetings is because (drum roll please!) I am the light designer!

I know, all of you are thinking "Woo...mimes?" But this is a serious leap in difficulty. Cues are based off of motions and entrance/exits, rather than lines. Also, there's no 'script' for me to write the cues in...I literally watch and go..."Hmm, this should change? Okay....*figures out* BAM!" Also, for a person who is currently taking her first Beginning Lights and Sound class (along side her Advanced Lighting class-a happy mistake), this is a pretty big leap. Usually it takes a year (or at least a full semester) before students are designing shows. Yay! (Totally selfish sounding...but, give me a break!)

Addict is a ten-minute play written by fellow senior, Lakyn Carlton, and directed by Elizabeth Berkman (also a senior).

Rehearsals are bound only to morning rehearsals (which is craaazy!), but luckily we got the show with three characters (not to mention it's really naturalistic and well- written..Thanks Lakyn!), so we may all need to be together for every rehearsal, but we also have less people to coordinate with :D Sadly, this is the last week of rehearsals as we are opening Thursday (5 o'clock, Friday at 7). BUT that also means I will be able to sleep in until about 7:15 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Mock Trial

Mock trial is just now slipping into high gear, since the competition is looming SO CLOSE (we can almost taste it). This year's case is a little goofy, and very unbalanced...but I have faith in our team! (Once we get around stupid drama, we'll be even better!) Huzzah!

Sadly, Mock Trial has been dictating three of my week-days and one of the weekend-days. And once we get to winter break (Next Friday) we'll be having a BUNCH of rehearsals during weekdays which means...bye bye break!

School

School is getting randomly difficult (what happened to cruising through Senior year?!)

With Psychology AP, Economics AP, English IV AP, and French II I honestly don't get a day devoid of some type of homework. Be it an outline of a chapter, new flash-cards, a packet, vocabulary, ORB's, essays and research....NO TIEM FOR MES ><

College

Happily, I can say that all I need to do to finish my applications is to send in my Transcripts (and a couple of teacher recommendations), and I'm pretty much done applying. I've auditioned for a few that I'm interested in,and the remaining few will be finished during Chicago Unifieds (catch me there, yo!) Glad to say I've finished coughing up

upwards of $200 in application fees and audition scheduling fees. (Not including $300 on plane tickets--HIGHWAY ROBBERY, GUYS--and the $40 [after roomie-split] for hotel). blughubluglubhlughubuhug....><

So what will you do now?

Survive, I guess?

Haha, don't get me wrong.

I LOVE being busy. Absolutely Love lOve loVe lovE LOVE being busy. I mean, shoot. How many of these things did I volunteer myself for? (A. Almost all of them). My only complaint?

While everyone else is getting swine-flu, my body is going 300 miles a minute to keep me afloat. While that keeps me out of the doctor's office, that does keep me underslept and running on Empty a majority of the time. Not to mention the HORRID crash I experience on those few days of freedom (i.e. sleep). For example, I missed school this morning because my body quit on me once it heard that my Production Meeting and Senior-Direct rehearsals were canceled the night before. I woke up with an ache-y tummy, a headache and a serious case of sleep-deprived-blues.

Who do I love?

Mr. Gavitt for teaching me all the stuff I needed to know about light programming and hanging in the first two weeks of school.

Rena for being an awesome partner.

Toni for being a great mentor.

Elizabeth for being so patient with my idiotic schedule.

DTC for allowing me to have flexible hours.

My scene-partners for working with my schedule also.

All of my lunch buddies for letting me vent my frustrations to you.

Sara for being there ALWAYS.

Mia for being my sista' from another mista'.

Showcase for teaching me the absolute necessity of time management.

EVERYONE for being so positive and pushing/encouraging me to NOT die in the early months of senior year.

At least for Arts Kids, whoever said Senior Year was a breeze was lying to you.

Manage time now. Be involved now. Listen to your 'elders,' since we're the ones going through it RIGHT. NOW. It'll pay off in the end.

Also, if you're considering Unifieds next year, put your money aside now...every extra dollar or bit of loose change will definitely help you, since undoubtedly the prices will rise (since they have been every day) and once you find a good deal TOTALLY GO FOR IT. It will raise. I swears to you!!! O>O;

Anyway.

I hope that caught you up!

So, recap:

I'm way too busy for my own good.

It's almost all voluntary (silly me).

I definitely want to do this for a living.

I love my friends :3

LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS!

YAY!

Love,

Tsuki Smith

(ps. I need to update my profile photo. I definitely have long, brown-red hair ;3)

A day with Jillian.

2009-06-11T10:29:00.007-05:00

"How do you spell Spencer?"

Spell it out.

"Okay..."

Spencer.

"S...?"

SPUH-EN-CER

"Sr?"

PUH. PUH. PUH.

"Sp...r?"

SPUH- EH-EH-EH-EH-N-CER

"Spe...r?"

SPUH-EN-NUH-NUH-NUH-CER

"Specr"

No, there's an N.

"Specr?"

No, there's an N!

"What?"

AN EN.

NUH-NUH--YES! Guh.

"Spensr?"

No, you had the ending right at first.

"Huh?"

No, you had the ending RIGHT at first.

"Spencr?"

No, you need an E before the R.

"What?"

ER.

"Spencr?"

ER.

"R?"

What makes the "ER" sound?

"R?"

But what comes before the R?

"R?"

No....what came before the R the first time you wrote it?

"E?"

Yeah. E-R. ER.

"Okay, so it's Specern?"

GUH!!!!

*facepalm*

--Thus is the life of babysitting a child who refused to read until this year, because she had to for school.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Of course, this week hasn't been totally horrible.

I mean, we've had fun.
She just got me in a horrible mood this morning because she woke me up after a nightmare...toooo eaarrrlllyyy

Anyway.

Monday: Made finger puppets, lots of activities, 1.5 hours of "school" :O

Tuesday: Made a sun, which is currently on the fridge, more "school"

Wednesday: Made a fan, more encouragement to play by herself

Today: We're going to make bunny ears, and play on the excersize machine and....hopefully more solitary activities for herrrr.

Tomorrow: NO IDEA. DEATH?

I have this uncontrollable craving

2009-06-08T22:40:00.002-05:00

For some good, steamed, sticky white rice.
So bad.

Or some Onigiri.

I've never craved something that I've considered so bland before

I think it's some sort of sign...

but what nutritional value is rice?

(Did you know: You crave what your body requires? Only when you are craving junk food are you going through something hormonal, and it is not healthy to act on that! Ex. Craving chicken might mean a lack of protein in your body!)

I guess that means I'm missing one of these things in my current diet:

Potassium, Vitamin(s) B, Thiamin or Niacin.

My guess: Potassium :O

Anyway.

Wantricenao.

Isn't it a fun feeling

2009-06-07T10:07:00.003-05:00

When you realize that you and your best friend of nearly four years are drifting apart?

No, it doesn't hurt as much as the day you realized your best friend of 8 years has moved on.

Nor does it hurt as much as the realization that you aren't as cracked up as you thought you were.

No. But it still hurts.

A lot.

I love that she's having fun.

And I love that she has friends other than me...but as the days dwindle by, I've discovered that my 'friendship-circle' is...how can I put this...limited? I've got her...and the people I know through her. And then the few that I know outside of her--the Entertainers and con-kids.

But I haven't gotten the satisfaction of friendship out of most of those kids. I love them, yes. But we will never stay up until 3 am, eating ramen and playing the world's longest game of Mario Carnival (god, 50 rounds was wayyy too long).

I miss that.

I miss us.

And when I see that you've been out having fun with the people I thought of as friends, too...when I wasn't invited...when I'm being "pushed out," as one slightly psycho child said last year ;)

Yeah, it hurts.

I s'pose I'll have to stand on my own two feet now.

I'll make some more friends.

But I don't think I can share the bond we've forged with anyone else...not for a while.

Not until I have another identity crisis at 30 (Teehee)

I mean, honestly? You're what got me through Freshman year.

And most of Sophomore year.

I guess this year was us establishing that we are both independant women.

I'll try to stay here....I'll wait here....

Just don't let what happened to you and your not-best-friend-anymore of 7 years happen to us, okay? (I don't think either of us are psycho enough to do that anymore)

I luff you with two x's, even if I don't get to see you as often.

I luff everyone in the "chill group" even if I'm not invited to the more recent chills.

Even if I've been forgotten within the group.

It's okay.

I'll move on.

I just want you to know that I luff you.
And I miss you guys.

Okay.

Well, that was an emo-esque post if I ever saw one.

I gotta get back to being a happy kid...doing my psych homework (;>.>)

Ja mattane....(sp?)

EYE TUTORIAL

2009-06-06T15:27:00.012-05:00

Makeup tutorial tiem!

This tutorial is to achieve "Anime eyes" or "Doe eyes"

The whole point is to open up the eyes and make them seem more wider-set to achieve the "Doe Eyed" look :)

First, your materials. (Not pictured, Mascara)

You'll want to start with a clean face! No make-up on at all. Pull hair back to avoid scragglies falling into your eyes! (excuse the doofy hat, I couldn't find a headband and my hair won't pull back because it's too short)

Start with base :) (I use both powder AND base, but it is up to you)

Here is my powder. This creates the "airbrush" effect.

I use a large brush to cover more while using less. (I look really bad here)

Next, eyeliner. I use MAC products, but you can use whatever you prefer.

Start somewhere in the middle and work your way out. Then come back in to the corner of your eye and go over the line you've already made. Extend the line out past your eyes to make a cat-eye look. This makes your eyes seem wider-set.

My eye finished, open.

What the line ought to look like when your eye is closed.

Here are both of my eyes done-eye liner only.

Using white eye-liner, line the inside of the bottom of your eye...the 'water line'

This is safe, so long as your eyeliner is clean.

Finished with step two :)

Here is a close-up. The use of white liner here creates a wide-eyed look. You're almost done!

Now, using a white eye-shadow, dab in the inside corners of your eyes.

More "widening" is created using this technique.

Next, using an angled brush (a regular brush would not work) and some dark shadow...

Line UNDER your lash-line. This will make the white you used to line your eyes more definitive, and from a little distance, your 'wide-eyed' look is much more natural.

If you're like me, and you weren't blessed with a natural almond-look, you can create the illusion by using the dark shadow and the angle brush on the corner of your eye, extending it a LITTLE towards your nose. This is more of a shaping thing than anything else. It's also optional. I've always done this, because I like the resulting shape. This may not work for everyone else.

Here's a close-up of the shadow under the line. See how it is defined? (Left: before extension, Right: after extension)

Next, the un-mentioned mascara! Your lashes will likely be standing out like sore thumbs, so this will blend them into the liner you've created. :)

Now, I'm as pale as a ghost, so I like to use a little bit of blush to create a more...life-like effect. Otherwise, I look like Sunako* with light hair!

Finally, using a q-tip and your liquid base, fix any mistakes you may have made.

Smudges you can't get or areas you see un-covered. Like my urgly pimples :(

Finished product! Wide-eyed and ready to go!

(I used a little bit of red lipstick and some powder to give my lips some color, but not too much)

:D THERE WE GO!

*Sunako is a character from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge by Hayakawa Tomoko. This manga is also known as "Perfect Girl Evolution," "My Fair Lady," and most popularly, "The Wallflower"

I am referring to the main character, Sunako Nakahara, who is notorious for being pale and "ghost-like"

I've been flooding my wall

2009-06-06T14:15:00.002-05:00

On facebook with utterly nonsensical prattle to anyone who is not here with me now.

I'm reading a manga that I found a year or so ago (I can't afford to buy the manga often and I discovered it is online!) called Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (Otherwise known as Wallflower or Perfect Girl Evolution). The translater changed out around volume 8, and this new translator makes lots of little notes on the side including translation for the sfx (the little words that are not part of diologue but are, instead an action-sound). I've discovered that I can read a good deal of the sfx without help, but the ones that I don't recognize I look at the side-note, and then figure out what each symbol stands for by double-checking in my NJStar Japanese Word Processor. (i.e. Hiya-- was double-checked because I did not remember what the symbol for "hi" was...it looked like the symbol for pi, so I tested that out, and then I typed in 'bi' and 'hi' to figure out which one it was, as they share the base symbol). Anyway, I've been getting confused on a few including (but not limited to) the not-translated mayaun...ma ya u n was how it was written out--big spaces between the letters--, moya meaning "don't look" and what have you.

I'm sort of proud of my sudden ability to actually recognize the hiragana and only having to 'test' my knowledge on what the characters are every few sfx's.

I'm not sure if this was a bragging post or an apologetic post, so I'll make it both.

I'm sorry that I've flooded your walls with my prattle ;)

I'm proud that I can read a little!

I'm trying something new :)

2009-05-21T21:52:00.002-05:00

bokuwashitteru.weebly.com

Don't stop following this, just add that site to your bookmarks XD

googlea5de8e901ba67208.html

You ought to go

2009-05-20T00:33:00.001-05:00

and check this out.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=A0C0E6F9

When you get the site, enter the 4-letter captcha thing and click "DOWNLOAD"
to hear my-and-Dalia's poem about a hard time in her life.
This was for a project for Comp, which I'm not a part of.
I did, however write most of it and read/record/mix it.
The background music is from Everything Is Illuminated
:)

In light of recent events

2009-05-06T19:03:00.002-05:00

My school district is undergoing some serious budget cuts and is about to make one of the worst mistakes they could possibly make.

I typed this in response to a comment on an article about the magnet schools being gutted (and reduced--that's a bit harsh of a word--to being a regular public school). The article suggested that we were to cut down faculty to an ungodly low number (absolutely impossible to achieve) and many of the responses were, to say the least, a bit brutal. Many attacked the new principal (who, in all my years as a student, has been the most involved, caring, and dedicated principal I've ever met), attacked the new cluster head (which was a bunch of baloney) for Theatre, and even the students. Many generalized to the point of excessive simplicity, stating we were all "pampered," "middle class" and "straight out of Plano and Highland Park" suggesting we all have money to burn, and thus are being treated much too well compared to other schools. Though I could get into a tangent about how these statements are so far from true it hurts, I thought I'd share my comment posted on the blog.
(This opening is a response to a commenter who felt that out-of-district kids were 'taking DISD's money' and that their attending on a tuition-free basis was unfair to in-district students)

"As an out-of-district student, I do not feel it is unfair to in-district students for us to attend a school where we can have access to the highest education available. On average, the out-of-district student is rejected in favor of an in-district student. (example: I was placed on the waiting list for BTW the summer before my freshman year to make way for in-district kids.)
Please do not assume that schools like BTW deny out-of-district kids to get more money...in fact the state money for the student is sent to their home school no matter how you view it, so how is BTW gaining anything from either 'type' of student?

I also regret that so many people are misinformed of BTW's faculty quality (which surpasses supreme) and the absolute blessing the new principal has been. It's a shame that many do not view arts as a career-oriented school but as an ego-blower (which, I daresay it is not). The environment of the school does nothing but motivate students to do their best and achieve their dreams. I, for one, will be (willingly) balancing 6AP courses with my cluster classes (which are both intillectually stimulating and character building, as well as educational) my SENIOR year! How often do you find a motivated senior at ANY high school (be it Magnet or Otherwise) thanks to the nurturing environment provided at their school?

Perhaps it takes 4 years of "not fitting in" and 5 years of teasing and being pelted by pizza to fully appreciate the community BTW and the growing Arts district have built. I, for one, have never felt so motivated, encouraged and accepted as I have in my 3 years of attending BTW."

I'm suddenly very upset with myself

2009-04-30T23:22:00.001-05:00

And I'm not particularly sure why.

That's all I had to say, honestly.

I must have missed a memo

2009-04-30T22:53:00.002-05:00

I'm a junior in high school.
I ought to be past this whole "holy crap what do boys think of me?" phase, don't you think?
I mean, it never mattered much to me until...
Until prom.
Until April.
Until Now.

I was one of those kids that dated steadily. I didn't do casual dates, and I often looked down on someone who changed boyfriends like they changed their underwear. I would have these serious, possibly-going-somewhere-after-school relationships that lasted for years at a time. And then BAM.
I meet Zark.
Things get messy.
I date (sort of) Zark.
And things get messy.
And we split.
And all of a sudden I care.
I care what Chaz and John and Ben and Davis and Freddy and all those other boys in my grade think.
Not because I'm crushing on them, no, but because something in me clicked and said "Oh. Hey. I forgot. You're supposed to want to impress the other sex."
Now I want to dress up and wear nice makeup to get a compliment from a guy. I want to gossip about boys (which is decently unheard of. I gossip about ...well, nothing. I'm pretty out of the loop, so I never had much to say. But all of a sudden I'm sitting in a gaggle of girls saying "Oh my goodness. Did you see his shirt? He's so cute when he makes that face! EEK!") I need to ...I want to come to prom and have the boys stare....
I'm becoming what the freshman and sophomores are. I'm degenerating or something.
I digress.
Actually, no. I don't digress.
I never had a point to this blog.
I just...I'm just...I feel so...I'm confused about this sudden self-interest.
Hell, what happened to me wanting to be one of the guys?
*sigh*
Maybe it'll pass once Prom is over.
Or maybe he'll notice that I do, indeed like him and I want to do something.
Or maybe I'll just date casually.
I'm tired of long-winded relationships.
Where was I getting with this?
Guh, I need to start giving myself an outline.

To err is human

2009-04-19T11:18:00.001-05:00

To knit is divine.

I've rediscovered my old knitting things, in spirit of Lucky Stiff.
I have learned that I still suck, and that it is still relaxing.
I think I'll take it up again.
Any thoughts?

（^o^）幸せ

-月です。

My store

2009-04-18T15:42:00.002-05:00

http://www.zazzle.com/tsuki56

Go buy things?

Maybe?

Please?

I'm trying to raise money to attend Perry Mansfield School for the Six-Weeks Intensive

I'm a little less than halfway to my goal.

I've got to raise another $2,000, so please...support my fight to get there!

As most of you know..

2009-04-12T21:08:00.003-05:00

(Miyavi at the hotel in Houston, taken on April 11th by his people, posted on his myspace today)
I saw Miyavi yesterday.
I cannot seem to adequately express how amazing he was live. So, I'm going to recap my day--April 11, 2009...actually, I start from the time we got to Houston.

After checking in Yaya and I whipped out our blank white t-shirts and sharpies and began thinking of what we were going to write on them. She showered and I decided to write his name (kanji), the date (kanji and numbers), one of his tattoos (on his right arm, both in Japanese and English) along with various songs and albums that have influenced me over the years. On the back I wrote some of the lyrics to the song that originally turned me to Miyavi (Jibun Kakumei). She couldn't decide what to do, so I ended up just doing a sort of matching-but-mixed version of my shirt on hers (seperate colors, different albums, etc). Went to bed at 3 AM. I was...DEAD. XD

Next morning: Woke at 9..ish. Dressed, Ate, and registered by 10. Wandered around the con with Yaya for ...an hour at most, and noticed a line of Miyavi-Shirt-Sporting people around the Main Event area and thought, "Well, if there's 30 people here NOW, we may as well sit so we can get a good spot," and joined them. Less than half an hour later we were moved outside, and then moved again inside...and then told to disperse. Being the smart conners we are, we all sort of...hovered. XD We got moved various times when other fans spotted our clusters and the groups got too huge. Around noon or 1, Miyavi began sound-checking. We could hear him. It was ...pretty exciting, actually. Everyone got an extra dose of being pumpage. Again, the group got big and we were in the way of some autograph session, so we moved. By now Miyavi's 'people' were waltzing in and out of the main event on a regular basis, so the few that remained hovering got to see little glances of Miyavi before the show--talking, directing, singing, walking around in a slightly confused fashion....you know, the works. Every time we saw him, we got a little more excited. (Now, remember. We got here at 10, began waiting at 11. It's now...3 o'clockish). Now the Miyavi fans begin to get organized. We were frustrated with constantly being moved around, and wanted to preserve the 'better places' for those of us who had been waiting since 11, so we began numbering and 'symboling.' The symbols were for superpassers (hearts first, dots second, etc) and the nubers were for general admission. This was the doing of the conners, not the con staff. Everyone, for the most part, respected it. It was nice. We got a little bit of time to ourselves, so Yaya bought two mangas (Fruits basket for me and Love-Com for her) and a shirt/poster, and I got a shirt/poster as well.
Around 5 the line was officially started. Yaya and I got jostled around and ended up around the 50-person mark, which wasn't too bad. We heard rumors that not everyone in line could make it into the event, seeing as the room was so small. We were glad we were smart enough to head out early. Again, we would see glances of him, his guitarists, his bassist (who's birthday is today) and his dj and various points of time. At one point the guitarist and dj went the wrong way to the restroom and ended up being surprised by the huge crowd awaiting Miyavi. The concert was being pushed back. The soundboard was fritzing and the lighting was being a pain, apparently. Originally, the doors would have opened at 7, but two hours went by before the line began crawling. It seems as though most of the MYV fans had forgotten there was a gamer challenge scheduled before Miyavi, and many were taken aback when we began the challenge before Miyavi came out. It was pretty fun--the first game bored me, and the second game didn't get exciting until the "Legendary Otaku" stepped up to the plate. He was...in a word, adorable.
FINALLY. The time came for Miyavi to come out. "What's my name?...Eh? What's my name? I Can' hear you! I SAID I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Of course, he's a ham, so he pumped us up by striking poses, speaking to us and being an all-around goof. "It's fuckin' chilly here in Texas...but it's hot in here, ne?!" His English has gotten MUCH MUCH better. He sang MANY old songs including Girls, Be Ambitious and Osan Osan Ore Nanbo, both of which are on his earliest albums put out as a single artist. He stopped the concert for a few minutes to talk to us about many of the bigger moves he's made lately-including his starting of J-Glam Inc ("J-Glam stands for Japanese Glam Rock...which is visual kei"), his new wife (Melody) and his expecting of a child. He dedicated a ballad-esque version of Kimi Ni Negai Wo and Ku Ku Ru to his unborn child, which was beyond moving. He was actually almost crying by the time he ended his speech before singing. It was...very sad, but very sweet. To cheer us up, he looked out to us and said (very sweetly) "Let me see you smile" and then, after observing the audience, he got the biggest grin on his face. Then someone yelled "I LOVE YOU MIYAVI" during the semi-silence, so he could really hear it, and he seemed a little taken aback and looked out and said "I love you too."
At one point in the concert, Miyavi decided to do a little fanservice (no, not kissing) and jump over to MY side of the concert and jump up on the table (in front of me, no less!) and sing there for a few mintues. I touched him. Twice. It was...well, anyone who's ever touched their musical idol before understands the feeling I experienced.
You could tell Miyavi was nervouce at the beginning of the conert. He was stiff, and was pushing himself a little harder than he probably ought to have (he ended up half-stripping because he over-heated and his voice cracked once). But by the middle of the concert, he had completely loosened up and became really, really fun. He played around with the audience and became very human. He actually dropped his mic...at least four times. Once when he pulled the jumpingtomyside thing (which was awesome), once while spinning around in order to pull attention to his guitarist's side of the stage, once while trying to start a song (which was hillarious. He looked at it, blushed a little and then began clapping while making this really cute "Ho'shit I just messed up" face), once while trying to move to our side of the stage (the cord was wrapped around the stand, which got him hung up) and another time while he was gesturing out into a sort of cross (it like, flew out of his hand XD). I'm sure his manager guy was out of breath by the end of it...chasing the mic around the entire stage. He constantly thanked us and told us he loved us, which was nice. And it wasn't a hollow "I LOVE YOU." It seemed very heartfelt--he really cares for his fans, which is really quite nice.
During the second half of the performance he had changed outfits (into this cute white long-sleeve shirt layered over his band shirt that was being sold outside), and became even more personable. One of the funniest parts of the concert (spare the "Imessedup" face bit) was when he realized that the camera had closed in on his chest as he was talking about his shirt "Look! It's my name. I wrote it myself...haha!") and he began thrusting his chest out (mimicing a heartbeat..the kind you'd see on a lovestruck cartoon) and then doing something equivilent to Mime Troupe's chest isolation excersize. He had this really goofy, excited smile on his face while he did it--he was really having a load of fun. And he continued to pull down his shirt as though it was too small (probably) which made watching him an even more adorable experience.
During the last two songs (Be as you are(/were?) and What a wonderful world and Girls, Be Ambitious) Miyavi was ALL OVER THE STAGE! (And off too, actually. He ran around to our side again and I got to high-five him as he ran by, which owwwwnnnsss.) He was jumping up and down, having us jump with him. He was headbanging and appointing times for us to headbang too, when he saw we weren't joining him. He was laughing and goofing around. It was....awesome.
I was so happy by the end of the performance, I honestly couldn't contain myself. When he walked off, everyone was like "NOOO!" and seemed to have not noticed his turning around and saying "Baibai," as I was the only one (as far as I heard) to return his g'bye. He waved at meeeeeeeeee

:D

Less than five minutes later my back gave out, my knee suddenly had sharp, throbbing pains (Yes, I know. Those contradict, but that's how it felt) and I had that stone-bruised feeling on the bottom of my feet. I began shaking due to lack of nutrition since 1pm (He didn't start until 10, and didn't end until midnight) and was, well, ready to go home.
Inspired, I bought the shirt he was flaunting during the concert (Yeah, yeah. It was total product placement, but it was so adorable, and I had wanted one earlier when I had bought the tanktop).
And promptly left for the hotel (I was beyond dead. As was Mom. So was Yaya, XD)
I had a load of fun.
I honestly would do it again. Everything the same.
I got an amazing spot--right up front where I could see/touch/benear him.
I had an awesome friend with me to experience the whole thing.
I saw my musical idol of around 4 years.
I'm a pretty happy child, to say the least.

To those who attend school with me--I'll be wearing my Miyavi concert shirts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday...so you'll know what the shirts looked like (including my home-made one on Wednesday). I had a load of fun, and ask me about the concert if you want to know any more :D

Oh, and

2009-04-04T11:07:00.001-05:00

Have a fantastic Saturday.
Set aside half an hour for yourself and do something you love every Saturday and you will become a happier, truer you. Be it reading or coding, horse riding or watching Flight of the Conchords re-runs, do what makes YOU happy.

-月

Hello all

2009-03-28T18:28:00.002-05:00

Short update.

My Dad and Linda were going to seperate. Apparently they've settled their differences.
My grandmother died last Tuesday and I attended the funeral yesterday.
Yes, I'm fine. No, I'm not exactly the happiest person on the planet.

I've got a show in 6 days, and another (bigger) show in 2 weeks.
I'm psyched for both, and I think they'll serve as good distractions from some of the BS life has thrown at me lately.

If you know me personally, and want to attend either shows, let me know and we'll get in touch.
Iyou live in the Metroplex area and have a student attending BTW and would like to attend, let me know and I'll give you the details as well.
Otherwise, you'll be hearing from me as to the progression of Lucky Stiff (the bigger show).

Sorry to be so buisness-like in this letter. That seems to be the only way for me not to sound like a driveling fool right about now.

I'll type latah.

Me, sans brushing

2009-03-28T12:01:00.002-05:00

New color, no available brush, car ride.

There was a photo here, but there is no more O.O;

-月

Just a little blurb

2009-03-18T14:47:00.004-05:00

About the Apps I have on my iPhone :D
I'm not going to include the ones that -come- with the Phone such as notes, stocks, SMS, etc

Here's what I've got (and a blurb on what it does)
SMBC (www.smbc-comics.com) It's more of a bookmark than an app
Explosm (www.explosm.net) Same
QC (www.questionablecontent.net) Same
Apple Geeks (www.applegeeks.com) Saaame
Wasted Talent (www.wastedtalent.ca)
Myspace (An actual app! Easier to navigate than the mobile website)
Facebook (Nice app. I dislike how I can't check group updates, photos etc)
Twitteriffic (TWITTER. It's good. Go follow me: www.twitter.com/tsuki56)
BeamMe (I can send my 'card' to anyone)
Sextuple Word Lite (Word scramble game. Timed, and my favorite app to boot)
Fingerific (A 3-finger challenge that tests reflexes)
Sally's Salon (Very fun game, like Diner Dash but hair instead of food)
Mancala (Self explanitory)
BubbleWrap (Timed popping of bubblewrap. My friends like to team up and beat my score)
iSoda (One of two paid apps on here. Amusing sight trick)
Bubbles (Silly. End of story)
FreePiano (Tiny piano that helps me find pitches when I'm not near a piano and am reading music)
Metronome (Self explanitory)
Sol Free (Solitare. More than 3 types of solitare to play)
HJ Lite (Japanese-learning ebook-thing. Easy to use, and I'm relearning Hiragana as we speak)
Phozi (Photobooth-like app. I can put stamps and frames etc)
Shotgun Free (Uses accelorametor to load and shoot a gun with silly sound fx)
iBonzai (Grow bonzais with nice music. Very zen)
iZen Lite (One of those rock gardens)
Sound Box (A remote-looking app that works as a soundfx machine)
Wallpapers (By the folks who do the stuff for Gelaskins. Very awesome)
Shazam (Tags songs)
HearTest (App that tests your hearing capabilities. Pretty awesome)
Pandora (Self explanitory)
Photo Daily (Photo editor)
GraphCalc (Graphing calculator. Useful for Precal homework ;) )
QuickVoice (Voice memo deal-y)
RDP (Remote Desktop thing)
Tap Tap (Like DDR for your fingers)
Cube Runner (Minimal graphics--dodge-the-boxes game)
Hanoi (That game where you move 3 rings to the other side of the screen, without putting bigger rings on top of smaller ones)
IFound (Adds my name and a secondary number should I lose my phone)
Wallpaper Labeler (Another thing that does what IFound does)
iJiggles (Sort of like wobble, but free)
AIM (self explanitory)
Zippo Lighter (uses accelorametor to strike, light and 'burn' things with the zippo)
Take me to my car (What it says)
B.Button (Benjamin Button ebook)
Grimm Tales (Collection of Grimm stories)
Romance (Collection of Classic Romance novels)
Classics (....)
TheSecret (The Secret Garden ebook)
WikiTap (Wikipedia/dictionary/other web sources thing)
reMoveem free (Blocks-like game)
MatchFree (Matching game)
DressChica (For my stepsister, it's a dress up game)
SeeChange (Nifty, but useless see-the-difference game)
PopPopPop (Pop a bubble, then pop the smaller ones from it, then the smaller ones, etc until they're gone)
B. Touch Lite (haven't played it yet. I suspect it's another blocks game)

:D That's it!

If you have an iPhone, suggest some of your favorites or discuss one of the ones I've posted!

I want to

2009-03-12T00:33:00.001-05:00

Crawl into a hole and dissappear for a while.
I feel betrayed by my (now) twice-broken family. I wonder what Jillian will make of this? I doubt she can comprehend the magnamity of the events unfurling around her.
The curious thing? I'm hurting more over the possability of losing Jillian than I an over the split in general.
I s'pose I saw it coming, so I'm just upset as opposed to surprised.
Either way, I want to fade away for a while-become an opaque figure for whatever remains of this week.
Perhaps friends will force my spirits to remain high....perhaps he'll see me? Perhaps I'll become a 2-day hermit? Who knows...

-月

I wish I got my freewriting back...

2009-03-07T15:13:00.001-06:00

It was very...blog-esque.
I'm sure Mrs. Arnolds will take off points because of the serious informality of it.
Ah well.

Haha, I can just see her face.
"Dead baby jokes?!"

XD

Movie Review: Ameture Hour. [The Changeling]

2009-02-22T01:34:00.001-06:00

I just finished watching an amazing piece of cinematography: Changeling.
To Angelina Jolie haters, this film ought to change your mind about her acting skills. The character she portrayed (Christine Collins) was a refreshing change from her usual portrayal of the usual sex-goddes-with-a-machine gun.
In all honesty, I did not recognize Jolie as Jolie until about 2/3rds of the way into the film (due to her infamous lucious lips, no less) as I was so engrossed in her character. Not to be overshadowed, of course, was Jason Butler Harner, who portrayed the "horrible, horrible, wonderful person," Gordon Northcott. His portrayal (okay, I need a thesaurus. What's another word for portrayal? O.O;) of the 'slightly crazed' serial killer of 1928 (Killing around 20 boys, total. Oh yeah, I forgot. The entire film is based on true events. So, yes, there was a crazy pedophile killing/molesting boys who almost got away with it in 1928.) was so disturbingly well done, that I got chills from the moment his character appeared on the screen. He was able to succesfully find the middle-ground between Charles Manson and your run-of-the-mill pedophile. I literally grimaced each and every time he appeared, from fixing the car to his desperate singing of "Silent Night."
Eddie Alderson, a boy who I did not recognize at -all- played the character of Sanford Clark, Northcott's accomplice/nephew. This unknown actor definitely impressed me. In all honesty, I can see a bright acting career looming ahead of this one.
All in all, this Clint Eastwood (That's right! He wrote the music AND directed!) piece of cinematography is definitely worth taking a look at. For Jolie fans, for 20's enthusiasts (guilty as charged) or anyone looking for a moving film to enjoy with -most- of the family (little'uns ought to be left alone. And anyone with an attention span less than 3 hours. Whew!) without convulsing in sobs (*cough* Seven Pounds *cough*), this film is definitely worth a look-see.

I also recommend: Seven Pounds, Yes Man, Last Chance Harvey and, believe it or not, inkheart

Books-turned-to-Movies I haven't seen but want to VERY Badly: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road

I wish I wasn't a teenager.

2009-02-21T13:53:00.002-06:00

I also wish I wasn't a girl.
And I wish that my hormones didn't hold the reigns-of-life.
I also wish that ...relationships were easy.
Easy to get into, easy to maintain...all around easy.
Alas, I am a teenager (16), I am a female (all-around) and my hormones do own me.
Relationships will never be easy, coming nor going, and I will probably never be completely content with one of these high-school docudrama relationships.
I'm glad I'm single and available, don't get me wrong, but I just can't get over feeling something is missing.
Perhaps my over-dating in the past few years has conditioned me into some Pavolovian-style need for a special someone...

The thing that gets me, though, is that I've friends who constantly comment on my dating habits. And my (in their eyes) 'perfect' dating past.
They speak as though I can get any guy or girl (whatever :/) I want, just by talking to them.
To paraphrase, "You break up with someone and, two weeks later, you've got another boy begging to be with you."
Too bad that "two-week-later" guy tends to be a nub. A nub with a lack of manners or lack of respect for women (though they claim they do. And no, Z this isn't about you. This is about any relationship I've had that I jumped into way too quickly).

I completely forgot where I was going with this blog...
*shrugs*
I'm tired of having directionless blogs.
One day, I'll plan it out to the end, rather than just the opening.
*sigh*

Life is hard sometimes

2009-02-11T22:27:00.003-06:00

But in the end, I feel refreshed.

I've just put a relationship that has been causing me so much pain in the recent past up on a shelf for a while.
Many of my friends are "proud" that I've recognized that this "mess of an affair" is what it is, and that I've chosen to end it--at least temporarily.

It's depressing, though.
The fact that they've been trying so hard to make me happy...
and the fact that I've done nothing but shrug their advice off..
and the fact that he refused to do anything about it besides mumble "I'm sorry..."
and the fact that everyone's secretly been rooting for me to do this anyways?
Yeah.
A bit saddening.
But that's okay.
Because I'm refreshed.
I'm single.
And I'm giving him a second chance in a few months....maybe?
I don't know.
*sigh*

At least I don't constantly feel guilty anymore. And I don't hate myself for putting up with...stuff I oughtn't to have been putting up with in the first place.
*sigh*

I'll be fine.

A Note to My Friends

2009-02-02T22:38:00.000-06:00

A Letter to My Friends

I love you.
All.
A lot.
More than I can say really.
I know I seem like such a loser sometimes, and I contradict myself on occasion.
I know that I'm complain-y and utterly weird.
And I know, in the end, you'll be there for me.
I just want to let you know, I'll be there for you too.
You've done SO much for me in just these past few months.
More than I can account for in the past few years.
I've finally found a group of people I love and don't want to lose. EVER.
I say we make a pact to keep in touch, seeing as Senior Year is approaching, and with that, graduation.
I appreciate everything you do for me, to me and at me (xD) and I love all our stupid inside-jokes.
One day, maybe, I'll be able to pay you back for the load of awesomeness you've all dumped upon me.
So...
Thank you.
For being there.
For being you.
For loving me.
For having me.
For...everything.

I've nothing to write about

2009-02-01T12:23:00.002-06:00

Nor anything to rant about.
Nor anything to draw...about?
Grammarfail is fail.
:/

I finished a comic (huzzah) but I've yet to hear back from comicgenesis...maybe they didn't find it so amusing *sigh*

I'm beginning my host-search again.
Anyone have any suggestions?
I can't pay for a domain, so I'm looking for a free hosting website. (I have no job, so I can't pay the rates :O)

Comments with sites are awesome!
Comments with ideas of what to write/draw are even awesome-er!
:D

Who knew?

2009-01-30T16:45:00.001-06:00

Horrible scam running around Facebook again! I advise a change in passcode to you all!

Sorry for such a short post, my computer is elsewhere and I can't find the mac :(

On the other hand, I recieved my Gelaskin today! (Little Red, gelaskin.com) it's beautiful. :3
Definitely recommend this to anyone looking to turn their iPhone/iTouch/iPod/Laptop into a gorgeous work of art! iPhone and iTouch users, get the Gelaskin app for free for beautiful and unique wallpapers! (okay, done with my spontaneous ad. I'm just blown away at my satisfaction.)

:D Huzzah

-月

Sort of photo happy lately...

2009-01-28T09:40:00.002-06:00

Sorry about that.
Usually I think blogs should be specifically text-based, but that doesn't seem to please the public XD

Well, I've finally updated A Day In The Life (you can see on my DeviantArt - Elegantmiyabi.deviantart.com). I colored it, to make up for lost time....but that's really no excuse. I've got around 7 more to scan/edit/possibly color...I think I'll end up making a new blog dedicated to the comic and updates about it. What do you think?

Only downside would be the fact that users would have to scrooooolllll back to see the eldest comics once I get myself into a systematic schedule sort of thing :/
I've got to get back in the grooooove!

Anyways, here's a teaser and the direct link

The new fake 'do :)

2009-01-24T18:00:00.001-06:00

-月

2009-01-21T13:26:00.001-06:00

-月

THUD

2009-01-21T13:23:00.001-06:00

*SLAM*

Someone ought to fix that damned door....

2pi...is 4/2...is 360....is radians and radiuses and chocolate and pumpkin and...wait. This isn't home ec...

Stupid Pre-Cal

-月

One of those "I miss my old self, even though I hated it" posts

2009-01-20T18:27:00.002-06:00

Because, honestly, I do.

My old self was:
Confident
Pretty
Quirky
Had leadership qualities
Knew what she wanted and got it no matter how
Rutheless
Merciful
Was constantly mistaken for a Japanese girl
Wasn't double questioned about things she liked

However, my old self was horrible, selfish and lost me a lot of friends. I got too assertive, too fast. I lost respect from old aquantances and was constantly in trouble with my dad.
But for some reason....I want it back.
Not the ruthelessness, not the over assertion and definitely not the school-wide loathing, but the quirkiness and a bit of that assertion wouldn't be too bad right?

*sigh*
At least I -looked- cool then.
Maybe I'll change my make-up style again
and I'll dress in loud colors again
andgetmistakenforascenequeen? No.
Shoot.
Maybe I won't then :/

Old me:

Edit:
Nevermind.
I don't want to be the old me.
Old me was a b**** :D
I may dress normal and wear less makeup, but at least I'm nice.

Buildings

2009-01-19T15:13:00.001-06:00

Standing up
Standing tall
World spinning
About to fall

Construction workers
their loud clacks and clangs
their drilling and screwing
hammering and pangs
destroying the silence
creating the wall
of blue-tained glass
one thousand feet tall

Higher and highter the new building rises
Blocking the sun, erecting the towers
a lightheaded feeling
the building must know
from nothing to giant the baby must grow

Steel rods, metal hooks
glass windows, tile floors
new lighting, new wires
new paint on the wall

Standing up
standing tall
world spinning
about to fall

years later, much older
the building still stands
glass crusty
metal rusty, no mother to care

People walking
people talking
the building withstands
bums pissing
cats hissing
the building's cradling hands

Young man
life in pieces
knows the one true escape
ichi soshite
ni soshite
san soshite
Jump.

Huzzah. Lyrics with no music?
I'll work on it later.

Edit: Decided that this will be a sort of half-sung rap. I'll come up with another chorus to sing...or have Niisan translate a bit to Japanese and sing that?
Yes. :D

Mobile posting

2009-01-16T16:51:00.001-06:00

Is new and exciting. Who knew I could be on-the-go while being on-the-go?

(Oh God, I sound like a meme.)
-月

I'm not sure what to write about anymore

2009-01-16T14:32:00.003-06:00

Nor am I sure what to draw. Or photograph. Or what monologue to memorize, or what song to practice singing....
Pooh.

I hate artist blocks, don't you?
They're painfully unproductive,
and you end up hating yourself until it's over with.
And then you hate that you hate yourself
but can't do anything about it
until you get that bit of art
(crappy as it will probably be)
squeezed out of your cinderblock brain
and put onto paper or...somewhere

:)

Emma/Yun spam

Yun has arrived

2009-01-10T16:10:00.002-06:00

He's beautiful. His name is Yun Xiao, though technically he is a Dollzone Megi, fullset 2 (so, he'd be listed under Megi-2).
You can find him via this link. :3
He arrived on Friday and is absolutely amazing. I'm so excited that he came! He's about 45 cm, making him almost two times the size of my first doll, Emma (at a mere 27 cm lol).

Absolute win on Doll-zone's, Junkyspot's and My part :D

Is anyone else

2009-01-04T11:56:00.003-06:00

Getting a bit miffed at how much advertising has weaseled it's way into television and films?
Even video games are victim to the advertisement wave.
From widely viewed tv series such as Smallville (Stride gum) and iCarly ('pearphones'-iphone) to Guitar Hero III World Tour (coke and KFC).

And it's not like this is a new development, either. Remember Cat in the Hat? (Though theirs was more of a joke).

Share your experiences.

Dreams

2009-01-03T12:52:00.004-06:00

You know how, when a dream is odd enough, it just sort of sticks with you?

Last night, I had a series of dreams (per usual) with seriously odd plotlines.
One stood out.

I was with my friends in some sort of field. Perhaps at a mall courtyard or something. It was daytime, and the sun was very, very bright. (I remember this, because Eddie* made a comment about how he was being blinded). Nadine* and Marolyn* were also complaining about the heat. Anyway, Eddie and I began to play-fight in our ubergeeky way ("I have a forcefield, so your shot didn't get me!") when we got carried away and ended up in a more secluded area of the courtyard/field/whatever. I finally managed to touch the target-spot (our noses) he suddenly kissed me. Naturally, I covered my mouth and turned away really quickly and got -really- embarassed. Nadine trotted by (having seen this) and rolled her eyes, laughing. She said something along the lines of "Now that that's out of the way, let's go back" or ...something. Either way it wasn't angry, confused or anything. Just...passe. By now Eddie was laughing, but noticably embarassed. We returned to Marolyn and Aaron* (Another friend) and resumed our geek-fight.
End of dream.

*Names changed

What the heck was that about?

This is more for my benefit

2008-12-30T23:42:00.003-06:00

Than any one else's.
Not like anyone reads my blog anyways XD

Tossing ideas around for New Years comic.

Full page: Henry is center. Megan is to the left, popping some sort of new-years popper thing right in Henry's head. Genna is in the back, dressed as Picard, facepalming. I'm also in the back, with a cup of something. I'll have bubbles around my face to imitate being drunk (?) Raphy will be texting in the background as well. Helen will be hanging from something on the ceiling. "Happy New Year" is in an arch either above or below the commotion. Probably below, since Helen is on the ceiling. XD

Next comic:
Open with Henry at a computer. Next panel: Screen-shot of him on facebook. "Tsuki smith" comments something that ends/includes/is "Facepalm." Next panel: Shot of Henry at computer, Genna is now in background looking over shoulder/at door/something. Henry muses aloud "Facepalm? Is that some sort of facial cleanser?" Next panel: Genna dressed as picard facepalm-ing
End. :3

Next comic: Either Megan or myself staring blankly in the center of the page with a large window in the middle of the forehead. Random words in different colored inks are passing by the window from the inside. Caption: "What if people had windows on their heads? Would we be able to view their thoughts? Courtesy of AlignedDeb"

Note to self: Work on being consistant. :D

Booya

2008-12-30T10:32:00.001-06:00

http://elegantmiyabi.deviantart.com/art/Henry-M-107784545

Checkit! :D

Mama Mia (spoilers)

2008-12-28T14:36:00.005-06:00

Have you ever heard of the television show, Who's Your Daddy ?
It was a Fox Reality program that ended after a pathetic six episodes in 2005. I wiki'd the show to find out more about the program. "For the show's premise, an adult who had been put up for adoption as an infant was placed in a room with 25 men, one of whom was their biological father. If the contestant could correctly pick out who was their father, the contestant would win $100,000. If they chose incorrectly, the person that they incorrectly selected would get the $100,000, although the contestant would still be reunited with his or her father."

Why did I open with such an off-topic subject?
Because Who's Your Daddy is quite possibly the best related television show to the Award-Winning flop, Mama Mia.

At first glance, the film seems like a family-friendly, all around sap-fest filled with upbeat songs that should go down in history as one of the most loved films of our generation, right?
Wrong.
Not only does Mama Mia have a not-so-family-friendly plot-line, the music used for the Broadway hit are all the horribly stupid works of ABBA, a Swedish Pop band that was big in the 80's.

The film opens with a sickening pop-ballad sung by Sophie Sheridan (Amanda Seyfried), the main character of the film which can make even the most avid musical-defender squirm with discomfort. (Believe me, I'm one of those.) I'll give it to Amanda, though. She sang the horrid ABBA the best it could be sung, and the lyrics did not do the poor girl justice.
We then lead into Sophie joining her friends, Ali and Lisa, with whom she sings "Honey, Honey" when Sophie reveals she has found her mom's (Donna Sheridan; Meryl Streep) diary. The trio sings of her mother's risque past, specifically three enteries written around the time Sophie was concieved. Not only does Sophie reveal her mom was a whorish girl, she also finds out that she could be the spawn of one of THREE men. Which man, however, is still unknown to Sophie. (Apparently her entire life has comprised of a giant hole that only a daddy can fill? She later tells us that she's had an empty childhood thanks to her father not being around. What a way to thank your single mom for raising you so well.) So, as any good daughter would do, she sends letters to all three men requesting their presence at her wedding the next day. She signs as her mother. :/
Now, Sophie and her mom own a sort of hotel in Greece. (?) Of course, the hotel is falling apart and her mother is fretting about having no money. The three dads show up, (woo?) and find out that SOPHIE sent the letter. (Oh no!) Sophie promptly shoves them into the "goat-house" without any sort of explination as to why they were sent the letter in the first place except "Don't tell mum." Gee, thanks Soph.
While the men are arriving, so are Donna's two whorish friends who refuse to let the past go, Rosie and Tanya (Julie Walters and Christine Baranski). And what do you do when your friends arrive and you've just discovered you have no money? You sing a song, of course! Thus enters, "Money, Money, Money." I have to hand it to Meryl, though. Only she can make an overlong "OHHHHHH" sound good. And, lo and behold! The only-greek-speaking patrons running around know the words too! AH THE WORLD MAKES SENSE.
As the plot drags along (yes, even with up-beat pop songs, this horrible movie lasted a bit too long), we meet Sophie's fiance, Sky, and learn interesting (not) things about her could-be fathers. With her naive notion that whichever father is most like her is -her- father, Sophie confuses herself into oblivion. Donna discovers the Men and sings "Mama Mia!" to express weather or not she has the guts to go talk to these men. With the help of her friends, she finds that she is a coward and wants to rid of these past-lovers immediatley, and kicks them out.
Visibly shaken, she confides in Tanya and Rosie ("Chiquitita") a secret she has kept from everyone - she is uncertain which of the three men is actually Sophie's father. No matter, as Tanya and Rosie rally her spirits by getting Donna to join in with the female staff and islanders accompanying a musical number intended to make her forget her woes. Donna and The Dynamos reclaim their glory days and champion the women of the island in a call to liberation ("Dancing Queen"). More only-greek-speaking women knowing the words to ABBA music! Ahoy!
Next we find Sophie on Bill's (the sea-loving, Greek-nut father-could-be) boat in a wierd almost-flirtatious scene where she learns bits and pieces about each of the men's past through another song- "Our Last Summer". Needless to say, Mum and I were expecting Sophie to jump each of the men's bones. It was creepy. Luckily, Sky (remember? The fiance we've only seen once?) calls for Sophie and she clumbsily jumps into the ocean and swims back to shore. Sky suspects she is up to something, and Sophie explains what she has been up to. Naturally, Sky is pissed. He "Doesn't know who she is anymore" seeing as she's trying to reach out to her father. :/ But, they get over it and sing "Lay All Your Love on Me" in passionate harmony. Ew. To the audience's relief, Sky is whisked away to his Bachelor party. Wait, what just happened?
We skip forward to the evening, where Sophie is celebrating her last night as a single female, where her mother and friends (mother's friends, not Sophie's. We haven't seen either of those girls since their trio at the beginning of the movie.) sing "Super Trouper" while wearing gaudy 70's jumpsuits. Woo-wee. The fathers stumble upon the party and are thus run over by hundreds of girls who, apparently, are man-deprived. They tie the men up (spare Sam, he escaped to speak with Sophie) and sing the hormone-dripping "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (Man after midnight)" while, basically, stripping the over-50 men. Sam and Sophie speak of Sam's love for Donna. FINALLY he puts two-and-two together and realizes he COULD BE HER FATHER. And he offers to walk her down the aisle the next day. She agrees and then runs away to find Harry (the almost-gay father) and ask him if he ever watned children. He claims "If I had a daughter, I would spoil her rotten." Through a painfully over-acted "OH!" moment, Harry realizes he, too, could have been her father. Again, the father-could-be offers himself to walk her down the aisle. Again, she says "Sure!" This time, she gets pulled away by the mob of women and is forced to table-dance with Bill, the only father she has yet to speak to. Finally, Bill reveals that the old woman who gave Donna the money to invest in her Villa was his Great Aunt Sofia, and Sophie guesses she must be her namesake. That's it! Bill must be her father! Bill clambors off the table in disarray and Sophie is just happy to have possibly found her father.
But her happiness is short-lived as Sam and Harry each tell her they must be her dad and will give her away ("Voulez-Vouz"). A shocked Sophie can't tell them the truth and, overwhelmed by the consequences of her action, faints on the dance floor.
Cut to the morning, and we see Donna freaking out about the men. She thought she got rid of them! But no worry! Her friends will rid of them for her, so she can spend her time with her daughter. Donna confronts Sophie in the courtyard, mistakenly believing Sophie wants the wedding stopped. Sophie angrily says that all she wants is to avoid her mother's mistakes and storms off. An upset Donna is accosted by Sam, full of fatherly concern (bleh) at Sophie getting married so young. Donna dresses him down, and both realize they still have feelings for each other and sing another passionate duo, "SOS" full of sickening harmonies. If they had to choose a singing dad, why didn't they get a guy who could SING? One confusing cut later, we find Rosie on Bill's boat, trying to woo the men into leaving. Bill and Harry confide in each-other that they could be Sophie's father, but are interrupted by the already mentioned Rosie. To add to the discomfort, Bill is naked and has two eyes tattooed to his butt-cheeks. :d We then cut to Tanya in a paddle boat with one of the men (can't remember which) who dives out of the boat to escape. Pepper, the funky black kid who we've met once at a bar scene earlier in the movie, suddenly gets all hot n' bothered for Tanya. He's an awkward looking fellow, so the next dance-and-song number, "Does Your Momma Know," is really quite funny. He tries to be 'sexy' but pulls off the entire number as 'IwishIwereyouragesoIcouldwooyoubutI'makidsoIlooksilly.' Sky comes up and confronts Sophie about the Dad thing and admits he put his "life on hold for [her]." That he wanted to travel the world but found himself so in love with Sophie that he couldn't leave her behind. Mushymushywoowoo.
Another abrupt cut later, we find ourselves in Sophie's room, where Donna is helping her Daughter get ready for the wedding that should be happening later that night. Donna sings a sweet song about losing her daughter to the hands of time ("Slipping Through My Fingers"). Had it not been for the random "Let's turn to the camera and sing for a few seconds!" moment at the end, I think the number would have been moving. But, alas, once again, cheesy choreography ruined the bit. Now, utterly moved by her mom, Sophie decides that her MOM should be the one who walks her down the aisle, and tells Donna such. (But wait, didn't she already ask Sam, Harry and Bill? Hmm :/)
As the staff and bridesmaids accompany Donna and Sophie to the chapel (On a Donkey, no less XD), Sam lies in nervous wait. Donna waves the wedding party on, and he begs Donna to talk. She cuts him short, however, revealing the deep pain she felt over losing him by singing a confusing bit- "The Winner Takes it All." (Let's just say, Mum and I found ourselves going "Wait, what?" When Meryl suddenly turns the song's focal point on her, and not her daughter. There was no real change in emotion, nor a change in...well, anything, when Meryl suddenly started singing about herself, and not Sophie.) The number is a bit long, and very unfocused. Tra-lala. A few moments later, she rushes up the steps to the chapel.
Now, you have to remember that neither of the women thinks the other knows why the three could-be fathers are on the island, much less attending the wedding. Donna, all choked up from her Daughter's wedding, suddenly blurts out that Harry, Sam OR Bill could be Sophie's father. (A comical response can be found with the Priest) To no surprise, Sophie is moved by the sudden truthfullness and admits SHE invited them. (Woahnoes!)
To no one's surprise, Sophie calls the wedding off. In the chapel. With the priest. And...well. Everyone. Donna actually almost gets mad. Sophie explains that she doesn't feel ready yet, and wants to travel with Sky instead. She says the wedding can wait until they come back. Sky is estatic and kisses her. It appears that preparations have been in vain until Sam steps in with the final curveball: he proposes to Donna. Of course, Donna accepts ("I do, I do, I do, I do"). The movie would be able to end with everyone being happy and their ears still in tact. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
AWKWARDCUT! We're now at Donna's wedding reception (the entire set for this piece is overly surreal. I feel like someone plastered a tile-pattern of a single photo of lights in the background), where Sam reveals he has loved Donna for 21 years (even though he's been married, had two kids, hasn't seen Donna for 20 of those years, etc) through a song that is found only in the movie version. "When All Is Said and Done." Again, why couldn't we have gotten a guy who could SING? Rosie, tossing all her earlier lesbian-vibes aside, attempts to make a coy play for Bill ("Take a Chance On Me"). It's overly awkward and probably could have been cut from the film without any repercussions. All the couples (Including Harry and some guy. So, he is gay?) present proclaim their love and, magically, water from Aphrodite's fountain of love bursts through the crack in the courtyard at Villa Donna. ("Mama Mia!" reprise)
The story concludes as Sophie and Sky bid farewell to Skopelos island and sail away to a new life together ("I Have a Dream reprise"), one full of hope and promise and horrible soprano breathiness.
During the credits, the older trio (Donna, Tanya and Rosie) don their 70's attire and sing Dancing Queen with the cast. The men join in in THEIR 70's jumpsuits and sing "Waterloo," thus burning both our ears AND eyes. Finally (and yes, I mean FINALLY) Amanda closes the horrid show with "Thank You For The Music."
I believe the first thing Grandpa said when we finished the movie was, "I don't quite understand why everyone thought that was so amazing," followed by Mom's, "It was horrible," and my own, "That was not Meryl Streep's best work," concluded with a family laugh.
Poor guys at Eagles Trace, though. They have to watch it again on Saturday *snork*

The film, in short, was awkwardly cut and horribly choreographed. Not to mention the ear-bleeding ABBA music (Seriously. How can you string together so many shallow pop songs from the 80's and attempt to make a good film/musical/show out of it? I mean, the only reason why Across the Universe worked was because The Beatles are a talented band and over half of their music is trippy enough to relate to ANYTHING drug-like and make sense. That, and they wrote about what was going on at the time, and that was what the film was about--that time.). The plot was lacking moral wholesomness (My mom was a whore and doesn't know who my dad is, so I'm gonna play Who's Your Daddy Home Edition) to be considered a "Fun Family Film," and the acting was lackluster. Who knew a musical could be so badly done? I sincerely hope Meryl jumps back onto something a bit more dignified, so she can get her name back where it belongs, poor bugger.

I've begun a sort of comic...

2008-12-21T16:06:00.000-06:00

It's not really a comic in the sense that it is an ongoing story in which each issue furthers the plot along. It's more like..."Here's something random that happened to [insert name here], with a bit of a Tsuki-inspired twist" or "This was inspired by a fluke note." sort of thing.
Some of them may not even be that amusing to people who don't know who I'm talking about in the comics, but for the most part, the other students seem to find them amusing.

Anyway, the point of this post.
I'm working on this comic and have begun a bit of a regular comic-making schedule (1 per week. Script decided on by tuesday, sketch by thursday, inked by saturday) and I hope to find my old flat-bed scanner (I refuse to tear out the papers from my sketchbook) so I can begin posting them regularly on Sundays. :) I even have a Holiday one that, once posted, will be gravely out of season :D

So, yeah. End of update.

Musings....

2008-12-20T14:20:00.002-06:00

I crave a sergei.
But now I'm seeing other dolls I've fallen in love with...
Other dolls that I found adorable before Sergei, and some after.
Specifically Sabik. But he's so expensive, I never considered him as a reality.
Turns out I might have gotten a doll for Christmas, but they weren't sure which ones were my favorites....
Poop. I'll have to buy one myself, again. I might get a different doll, not a Sergei, since he's a fullset and was one of the first that I fell in love with...and he's bigger :D
Hmmm :/

Is it not depressing to realize

2008-12-16T20:38:00.003-06:00

That many, if not all of the people surrounding you are not religious in any way?
In fact, they refuse anything even remotely spiritual?
And if they -are- spiritual or religious, they're bigoted bible-thumpers who are ready to pounce on any "filthy" subject with a washcloth and a can of bible-bleach?

It's not uncommon to see children as young as 10 lose all faith in religion. From Catholic school kids to bastardized children in the ghetto, God (or any spiritual being, supreme or otherwise) is a fleetingly idiotic idea, so it seems.

Some claim the depleting faith lies with scientific discoveries. I could argue that some of the discoveries actually strengthen certain aspects of the bible.
Others leave the blame to the bible-thumping evangelists. You know, the ones who believe everything written is absolutely 100% true and good? The ones who lovingly overlook slavery, adulterism, animal sacrifices and anything else that may make their Good Book seem not so good? The ones who overlook the fact that, when translated from Arabic, "Days" really means "Eras"?

Hmm....
Just a thought....
Just a slightly saddening thought...
Leave me your theories.

Sort of shifting some stuff...

2008-12-06T23:09:00.004-06:00

From my cellphone-blog to here (Rather, journal entries saved in the application "notes" I'm putting these in reverse chronological order, so scroll to the bottom of this entry to start at the beginning)

A conversation with Sara via "Notepad"
December 4 6:40 PM

-This is a good place to talk quietly, lol.
-Yay!! Okay, this so cool!!
-Lol, so..you read my comic yet?
-Que comic?
-That's a no XD Hangon, lemme go get it.
There. Tell me what you think
-Haha!! Me likei
-Teehee, 'Tis about Monfries. I'll point his picture out when we get to the hallway laters :3
-Yeah, I have no idea who that is. So funny.
-John has an epic half-smile
-Haha, yeah.

I hate
November 12 10:30 PM

My luck. Opening night is tomorrow.
I've sprained the muscles around my
hip-joint. Life pretty much friggin' sucks.

Kou Kou
November 10 11:09 PM

Is the correct spelling. Rehearsal was
an epic fail composed of six pointless hours.
Grr.

Delete
November 6 11:28 AM

Gages 4, 6
Hacky sacks
Uh...camera thing? Music? Uhmmmm

Life is..
November 6 11:20 AM

Back on track. New hair-new outlook.
Evening of dance rehearsal tonight--I get to drum!! :D
I've finally caught myself up in school--less stress is amazing
Ready, steady never look back.
Ready, steady give me good luck.
Ready, steady, don't hold me back.
Let's get started, Ready Steady Go!!!
(dodo-doo-dodo-dododo! Dodo-doo-dodo-dododo!)

Everything..
October 31 11:01 AM

Turned out fine. :) HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Guess who I am? (Hint: Why So Serious?)

I
October 29, 8:08 AM

Screwed up faster than I thought I would.
Proof I'm an idiot who has no clue how to make
a relationship work. One day, I'll learn to shut
my mouth. Until then, I'll just cry over the
smoldering bits of carbon that remain.

BS
October 28 10:17

The only fitting word for what my 'friends' are dishing.
I'm having anxiety attacks left and right. I need a break.

(12 minutes, post-post)
I'm irrational
I'm emotional
I'm woman
Hate me, we can form a club
Join the fun
and loath.

A note from the failure:
October 26 10:13 PM

I must be wired incorrectly.
I don't understand my own motives nor my actions.
Shouldn't I have control?
I suppose not.
Perhaps I should resume my position in hiding.
No one will believe a thing I say anyway.

Edit: PMS is evil.

A word from Loo
October 24 10:56 AM

My weekend will rock. And today will
be swell. The weather is heavenly and
my friends are made of epic winnage.
I'm a happy kid. Being single isn't hard
at all, plus I have flirting rights.
Niftybats!
*flush*

The infinite to-do list:
October 21 5:38 PM

Current Event, 2 presidential sheets,
Actor's Notebook, Summer Essay fixes,
get self together.

Mambiri mu stafiri kunla mikaro
Sabala alimuna mikaru (x3)

Mode, Mode, mode-ala mode abule

And then I realized..
October 20 10:30 PM

Mum is unhappy. I'll chalk it up to
stress and PMS. Meh. I've school in 8
hours, so a good night's sleep is in order.
Oya~

Speed Racer and the World Championship
October 19 10:37 PM

The game rules. Note to self: watch all
52 episodes in English, then in Japanese,
then buy the movie :D
I've school tomorrow. If it wasn't for
ADE, I'd ask to stay home. Darn my
actual enjoyment of school. Group
chillaxing on Saturday-another reason
to remain in top health. Won't last
long--too many sleepless nights plagued with odd, vivid dreams can cause
sickness. I pray for a chilly day. Sleep is
in order, methinks. Oyasumi.

Oh and..(added 30 minutes after last post)
I am surprised by how excited I am for
this weekend....Davis and Liz are yeses
and Zark and Maddie are maybes

A Comedy of Errors
October 18 10:32 PM

Philisophical conversations are both
rejuivinating and humbling. Especially
when they're held with someone whose
intellect surpasses your won, but is
made obvious only by her thought-out
arguments and understanding of difficult
theories. I love haging a friend who is
willing to talk stuff out when things get
bumpy. It's nice. Refreshing. I suppose
it's silly of me to wonder what makes
me remotely likeable. Hmm..do I really
talk funny? Nifty.

In which I express myself in a confusing manner:
October 17 10:45 PM

Tiriba tires, kuku sweats, sansa
marisan, let's circle up.
College, grow up, facepalm, shallow
middle-class white chick.
Squeak, soprano throat pangs,
Juniors only, epty room, nostalgia and
funny converstaions-He's cool.
Busses, unlucky guy, leave the driver to
rot. Lulz

I have come to realize

2008-12-02T22:29:00.002-06:00

That I change my appearance a lot.
It's not because I have a problem with the way I look-naturally or otherwise, but it does make me think...
How do I come off to other people?
I've come up with one of two ways I may come off as to other people:

1. "Interesting"
I've a new hairstyle every two or three weeks (which can vary from a different parting side, to a change in color to a complete new do'), yet I manage to rock each hairstyle. I also change my 'look' every couple of days that I make sure flatter my figure, so it looks like I can rock any sort of clothing 'style' as well. In a sort of self-centered way, I'm an interesting figure to follow. Like a television series, each new episode is (obviously) new and different, but equally, if not more entertaining than the last episode. Except, replace "episode" with "hair/clothing/overall style" :D

2. "Troubled"
I can never settle on one look, which may come off as a desperate attempt to find 'myself' through hairstyles and clothing. I also tend to do the more extreme versions of any 'style' (Example, I had cornrows for a few weeks; I'm white.) which can be a "cry for attention" because, you know, I'm such a tortured soul. It could also be a form of multiple personality disorder trying to unmask itself to be helped. For all I know, there's another side to me named Mindy who absolutely HATES herself and thus influences Mandi subconsciously to change something plainly visible about herself to satisfy the inner Mindy.

Who knows?
I like the first, though :)
I don't like the idea of an inner-Mindy trying to take over me XD

A new song? I think not.

2008-11-30T21:34:00.001-06:00

November 30, 2008

(sung to the tune of "Lumberjack" by Monty Python)
I am a nerd-bat, but that's okay
My friends still love me, anyway!
I will continue, to be a geek
'Til I lose the, 'bility to chat-speak!

Inferiority Complex

2008-11-30T13:17:00.001-06:00

November 30, 2008

Sometimes, going to an Arts Magnet can really eat away at your self-esteem

And I end up hating how I am constantly being surrounded by so much talent.

Because I end up feeling inferior...
I write something with the knowledge that Maddie could have worded such-and-such much better.

I sing something knowing I could be outsung in a heartbeat by the kid who sits next to me in APUSH.

I sew something knowing that both Andi and Lakyn would subconsciously view it with slight distaste at my lack of skill.

I play something knowing Davis could kick my butt at it.

I memorize a monologue knowing that John could own me.

I dance knowing that Zaikyyah could perform with much more grace.

I photograph something knowing Zark or Hiratai could have figured out a much better angle to set off the setting sun.

But I'll keep trying...practicing...attempting
It just sucks. I feel inferior.

Meh :/

Hello...

2008-11-30T11:23:00.001-06:00

I'm not new to the blogging world...just to "Blogger"
:)
I'm going to be moving a few posts over from an old blogging website, so this is technically my first-ever Blogger post....Though the other blog-dates say otherwise, kay?
Confused yet?
Anyways, Hi!
I'm Tsuki-Mandi, and I'm a thesbian. (All: Hello, Tsuki)

One day I'll put this to music...

2008-11-29T04:04:00.000-06:00

November 29, 2008

Weather I'll sing it or not is a completely different story.

The soundtrack in my mind
Ever playing, constant loops
You see,
There's a glitch..
Sometimes, the music flips
And intertwines the chords a bit
Making two, even three songs into one
One big, glitchy song
Of Beatles and Raindrops and Death Cab and ...music
Music takes me away
To a place I didn't know was there
Until I found it (Well, duh)

You see, I'm a cynical person
Overly analytical of everything I do
I think I screwed up somewhere...
not sure where though.
I want a parrot...not really.

I wish I could put some of my funny moments...
into a giant webcomic. But alas,
I've no talent.
Though talentless people can make webcomics too, I guess.
I'd try...but no wacom, no scanner...
I'm making up excuses now.

The soundtrack of my--wait, I've done that.
You see, there's a glitch in me
it makes me cynical
and intertwines the chords a bit
not sure where though
To a place I didn't know was there
I'd try...but no wacom, no scanner
I think I screwed up somewhere
..intertwining the music a bit into..
a giant webcomic.
I'm making up excuses now, I suppose
But you see, there's a glitch in me.

A song? Or perhaps a poem?

2008-11-25T22:57:00.000-06:00

November 25, 2008

Poetry?

Inflexible

Stiff in movement, rough to the touch
Steel pipe for bone, cable wires for muscles
Feet drag, no lift, knees don't work
hands lie, not limp, but motionless
Head still, no movement, not even muscle twitch
for cables do not twitch

Look forward, no perefials, almost blind
Listen not, no recognition, nearly deaf
No thought, only to breathe
in...
out...
in...
out...
Smell nothing, senses refuse to work
Salivation impossible, a disease?

Heart pumping, but not emotionally
checked out, no returns, gone for lunch...permanently
Emotions dead, no love
no hate, no grief, no thanks

Inflexible,
stiff in movement, rough to the touch
checked out, no returns
no love, no hate
in...
out...
in...
out...
ikiru.
Shi.

I haven't decided what category this should go into...Hmm

A conversation I had once...

2008-11-22T11:22:00.000-06:00

November 22, 2008

Meh.

"I really hate how much our school has changed thanks to the budget and yet every time I express that, someone feels the need to call me an idiot"
"You're not an idiot, it's true. And as much as I disliked W, this new woman is changing a lot of what made our school special."
"Exactly, it sucks balls and all these people are like, 'just cos we're an arts school doesn't make us special' and that's exactly why we're special."
"Agreed. Most newniors, sophomores and freshmen can't grasp that reality, it seems"
"Even the small stuff like eating in class or having lunch anywhere in the building. People
don't seem to realize that contributed to our originality as a whole."
"Exactly. And our 'phone zones'"
"Yes! I couldn't've been the only one pissed when those disappeared. What's next? Hat day?"
"Or hallway-bound scene practicces? 'too loud' pssh"
"Or even cutting fabric in the hall. It was a bigger deal at Nolan Estes but still"
"We've much more space here, obviously. Thank the Lord some of the stronger teachers rebel by letting us eat or use our cells or listen to music during huge lulls in class"
"Yeah. But it sucks that some abide by the rules so closely, and that the rules are even there."
"Moreso that they're even there."
"Yeah. And I don't understand why people just don't get how much it sucks. It's almost opressive"
"The real irksome part is the fact that her "student-meetings" in the mornings have resulted in MORE rules while we continually protest for less"
"She only started that so she could at like we had a say. She's a bit of a dictator."
"She really is."
"She's treating us like any other school. And people say it's because of the budget. Our budget is bigger than most schools."
"Twice as much"
"Ugh."
"Ditto"

Kou Kou (African Folklore, with a Mandi-twist)

2008-09-27T15:36:00.000-05:00

September 27, 2008

Based off the story Moussa told us during African Dance Ensemble.

In a small village in Africa, there was a mother and two sons. Now, these two sons were no ordinary sons. They were twins. Twins of the Yin-and-Yang; In other words, one was good and one was evil. The good twin listened to his elders, aided his mother, followed customs and worked diligently. The bad twin, however, was his mirror opposite. He discarded all of the elders' advice, disrespected his mother's wishes, spat on customs and worked only when it was convenient to him.

Leading from this village was a wide road; it was the only way to get to their neighboring villages. The path had a guardian spirit who would bless the passers by as they made their way to or from their sister village. His only request was to not be looked at, nor touched. And the good people respected his wish; warning any newcomers of the now age-old custom. And the people would pray, and pass. Pray and pass. Pray and pass. No one touched, no one saw. They would simply pray and pass.

One day, the mother and her two twins were to attend a wedding in a sister village. Their journey to the village was uneventful. Each respected custom by praying, then passing. The mother prayed, the good twin prayed and the bad twin (reluctantly) prayed. The wedding was a delightful success. In the evening, after the ceremony and celebration had died down, the small village's people began their tired trek home. Pray and pass. Pray and pass. Pray and pass. The twins and their mother were the last to embark on their short journey. The Yin and Yang twins were playing, full of energy from the celebration and feast, running ahead of their mother, reliving the dances they learned at the ceremony. Their mother attempted to quiet them, but to no avail. The mischievous twin growing tired of dancing, began to search for a new form of entertainment. "The spirit," he whispered, "I will touch it tonight!" The mother overheard her boy whispering and abruptly stopped in her path. The boy, lost in thought, ran into his mother's back. "You must never touch the spirit. It is not only custom, but a way to pay respect to the good spirit who has caused no harm to you! Why must you refuse to listen to what has been told to you many times before? Never, ever, touch the spirit!" The brother turned an unlistening ear to his mother and rolled his eyes. The family resumed their walk. As the family approached the good spirit, the rogue twin slowed his pace. His mother and brother before him prayed and passed. He, however, stopped. He first scrutinized the spirit, squinting his dark eyes to see the spirit's translucent skin, visible only because of the waning light. He imitated the guardian's sweeping hand (the motion used to bless the passersby) and noticed, "Aha!" the spirit was holding a broom, "It is with this the spirit blesses the people?" The malevolent twin touched the spirit. He felt the smooth skin, and relished the coolness. Quick as lightening, the twin's free hand shot out and stole the spirit's broom. The spirit, enraged at the unknowing bad twin, possessed the boy, forcing his host to flail and thrash about. By now, the good twin and his mother discovered the bad twin had gone missing. They returned to find the boy violently seizing. Suddenly, he stopped. His body was still, spare the quick rise and fall of the boy's chest as he breathed. Before his mother could release a sigh of relief, the boy stood up sharply. So quick that neither the good twin, nor the mother saw him stand. Looking her boy in the face, the woman could no longer recognize her boy. His face was twisted into a gruesome mask of fury, his eyes paradoxically dull and lackluster. This child was no longer the woman's child, but a host body to the furious spirit. He began his violent path to the village to which the twin belonged. Burning homes, striking women, challenging leaders, and murdering those in his path. Leaving a zig-zag path of carnage in his wake, the spirit-boy stopped at nothing to release his fury. After ruining the lives of those he spared, the spirit left the boy's body. Leaving an empty shell in the form of a human. The mother and good twin, picked up the boy by his arms and helped him limp into the clearing. They sat him down in the field, bid him goodbye and left to begin anew in their sister village, a mother and son. The shell sat in the field, unfeeling. Unknowing. His own spirit devoured, he stared into the vast nothingness that was now his old village. The now-calm spirit resumed his spot on the path. The mother and son on the all too familiar path, prayed and passed. Prayed and passed.

The good people of the neighboring village learned of the boy and told his tale to warn the maverick children of what happened, when the boy did not listen to his mother, and touched the spirit.

Just so you know...

2008-09-06T22:43:00.000-05:00

September 06, 2008

That feeling that everything is going to be okay.
And that everything crappy is totally worth it in the end.

It's amazing what a nostalgic movie can do to your mood.
And a bizarre half-conversation with a new, and an old friend can do as well.

I sincerely love life and all the shait that comes with it.

:)

It took me too long to figure that out.

A blog to the boozers

2008-08-12T21:03:00.000-05:00

August 12, 2008

You just need a splash of ice-water and a slap in the face.
How slow can you get, darling?
You party too much for your own good, drink underage, and apparently get yourself into a lot of trouble when you're drunk.
In other words, I've seen way too many posts about how people should "Disregard Photos From Last Night" and how you have a killer hangover.
Hours later you'll post about how you're upset at how your life is falling apart, why you woke up next to that guy, how no one takes you seriously anymore.
Do you think it could have a connection to the partying?
Because as far as I'm aware, that seems to be your only problem.
You're pretty, and when you're not out being Miss Party, you're a pretty cool person.
Maybe you should stop and think for a bit, and chill on the booze and parties.
Maybe you'll be sober enough to fix whatever's going on that's making your life so miserable, and you won't have any more incriminating photos following you around.
If you can't last a night without parties and booze, you are officially a teenage-alcoholic. And that disgusts me.
And if you're going to continue with this habit, I don't think I can be your friend, though we never were in the first place, were we?
Whatever.
Chill out, and think it through.
Maybe a week without boozing would do you good,
otherwise, get help from a professional, not your myspace friends, since I'm sure they're the ones who took those nasty photos of you in the first place.

I love my dollfie

2008-08-12T10:07:00.000-05:00

August 12, 2008

And dollfies in general.
For one, she's gorgeous. I don't care how "creepy" you think she is, it's the fact that she does look so human and alive that makes her so appealing to me.
She's also a great creative outlet. I can give her whatever backstory, personality and history I feel, and since she is a doll, I can change it at will.
I can make her into different people. People I hate and people I love, or just a mini-me. And I have already begun on a line of clothing for her, which, if I get bored of, I can sell on DOA.
Also, the fanbase of Dollfies is comprised of people from all over the world, of many races and personality types. I get to know people from Norway who have a Bobobie Isabella while chatting it up with the girl who lives in an apartment in Dallas. And many cities and towns all over the world hold things known as "Doll-Meets" where collectors bring one (or all) of their dollfies to have a "playdate" while getting to know other collectors in the area. It's something we can all relate to, talk about and even make a profit on.

And before you put me down for being a teen who still plays with a doll, talk to the 40 year old buisnesswoman who practically has an army of 20. Or even the 19 year old college student studying chemical engineering, or maybe you'd like to speak to the 70 year old who treasures her dolls as though they were her babies.
Doll collecting has no age boundries, right? So why should becoming creative about the beautiful peice of resin you bought have a boundry?
I mean, we all played with Barbies or GI Joe's at one point of time in our life, why must we stop now?

D:
That was a lame argument.
XD
But I wasn't addressing anything that's been said to me outside of "She's weird"
So poop.

another Rant? Porque?

2008-08-11T16:45:00.001-05:00

August 11, 2008

When it comes to this over-used chain letter.
I'm not a guy, so I won't write in how they 'feel' when certain actions are made, but I will tell you about my perspective on most of these "What A Girl Means" thing...D:

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up
she wants you back but she is too
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever!

Last I checked, when a girl is mean after a break-up, it usually is a result of the breakup itself.
If they broke up to you, and are suddenly mean, it's most likely anger at whatever it was you did to make them break up to you.
If you broke up with them~Put two and two together. You hurt her. Of course she'll be mean. I would anyways. At least for a while

when you catch a girl glancing at you,
she wants you to look back
and smile

Can't really disagree with this one. But just a "glance" isn't always something to act on. You need to "glance back" a few times to find out if she's people-watching or you-watching.
Plus, it's just polite to smile.
Now, if you want her to think you like her back, go talk to her. D:

When a girl bumps into your arm,
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand

Or she simply bumped your arm.
Guys, if you're not going out, don't attempt unless known to be gutsy.
You may get a shot in the groin.
If she's inching her hand closer to yours and brushing her fingers on your palm, however: yeah, she wants you to hold her hand.
And if she persists to the point of obvious 'bumpage' yes, she wants you to. Otherwise, it was an accident.

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

In today's world, we won't just stand there.
We usually do one of two things: "I want a hug" or go hug you.
It's pretty much as simple as that.
However, nothing is stopping you from initiating the hug.
I, for one, enjoy them, kthanks. And we don't have to be romantic for me to want one.

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later

We may not feel the hearbreak, as this suggests (We aren't all that pathetic),
we may get that weird memory-surge that happens after not seeing someone for a while.
Sorry guys, we don't obsess over you all the time.
It's just how life works.

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind..

Or she is zoning out. Or is shy. Or is mute.
Don't jump to conclusions.
When I get quiet, I'm doing one of three things:
1. People-watching or studying random habits of people I don't know
2. Being shy and waiting for someone to strike up a conversation so I won't have to
3. Zoning out. Simple as that.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply,,

Because a girl who isn't arguing has deep thoughts 24x7.
Maybe we're just happy we're not arguing
Or maybe we're just content with whatever and are not provoked
Or maybe there's a good TV show on
Or maybe there's no need to argue, because we don't thrive on it.
D:

When a girl looks at you with
eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around

Or why the sky is blue, or why the grass is green
Or why your shirt doesn't match your pants
Or why her hair is sticking up like alphapha today
Or how long this date will last
Or if you are worth the trouble
Or if her homework really was done
Or if An Cafe is coming to Texas any time soon
Or if she should go through that sex change she was thinking about 2 years ago.
Chill boy.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a
few seconds,
she is not fine at all

For the most part, that's true.
:3 If I seriously have to think about weather or not I'm fine, I'm probably not.
But DO NOT PESTER ME ABOUT IT FOR TEN MINUTES IF I DON'T TELL YOU
It's probably about our period anyways. :3

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing games

Or when you were eating that spinach. XD
XD Maybe we just think you're nice to look at
Or, like I said earlier, we could just be zoning out.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever

Because I wish Maddie were mine forever :3
I usually do that because I'm tired or I fell.
If she's with the guy she likes (In my case, my beu)~It's much more intimate and comfortable that way :3

When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future

That's a bit extreme. But yeah, I guess that'd be a fairly reasonable deduction from that line.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

It says the same thing about the guys.
So who misses the other more?
Neither. If they're in a good relationship, they probably miss each other just as much as the other.
:3

As a side note: When I say "I miss you," to guys who aren't my beau or girls, I just miss having their company. I like hanging out with friends, too, ya' know!

I will not say this goes for all girls, since every girl is different.
But as far as I'm aware, the red is an accurate reason behind MY actions :3

Teaching Miyavi to be "gangstah"

2008-08-05T19:03:00.000-05:00

August 05, 2008

mandirjs (12:53:36 AM): Kabuki Danshi is like the beginning of Neo Visualism

mandirjs (12:53:45 AM): LOL at his purple jacket

"Tess" (12:53:48 AM): Hah

mandirjs (12:53:56 AM): He's trying to be gangstah, and seriously fails.

"Tess" (12:54:04 AM): xD

"Tess" (12:54:14 AM): We should teach him the gangster ways

mandirjs (12:54:25 AM): YES

"Tess" (12:55:03 AM): Mwahaha! Get your gangster pants on, Tsuki! We're going to TEACH

mandirjs (12:55:04 AM): It makes me want his music more.

mandirjs (12:55:21 AM): "Okay, Miyavi. This is a gangsta walk.

mandirjs (12:55:27 AM): It's almost like a limp. But waay cooler"

"Tess" (12:55:31 AM): XDD

mandirjs (12:55:47 AM): Only miyavi could rock a rap song with an acoustic-electric guitar.

"Tess" (12:55:47 AM): "And this Miyavi, is how you dance"

mandirjs (12:55:48 AM): Dork.

mandirjs (12:55:54 AM): Haha

mandirjs (12:56:18 AM): "And these are known as gangstah pants. YES they are supposed to almost make you trip. It looks cool."

mandirjs (12:56:27 AM): Oh My God

mandirjs (12:56:31 AM): THAT IS A CURTAIN THING

mandirjs (12:56:35 AM): He has a curtain thing on his back.

mandirjs (12:56:37 AM): Oh my god.

mandirjs (12:56:38 AM): Dork.

mandirjs (12:56:40 AM): XD So cute

"Tess" (12:56:42 AM): Ohhh lol

mandirjs (12:56:44 AM): youtube

mandirjs (12:56:46 AM): D:

mandirjs (12:56:54 AM): Those little ties with the tassles? Yeah

mandirjs (12:56:59 AM): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNe9VwkaWKM&feature=related

mandirjs (12:57:05 AM): It looks like mine too. I lol'd

"Tess" (12:57:14 AM): "Also, these pants are supposed to show your butt. No this isn't a trick to see yours Myv, we promise"

mandirjs (12:57:21 AM): *snickers*

mandirjs (12:57:45 AM): "Don't forget your bling! I know it's heavy, but it's to show status. You want to come off knowledgable, don't you?"

"Tess" (12:58:13 AM): XDD

"Tess" (12:58:55 AM): "And you have to lose that silly 90's thing. We're going to be serious gangsters aren't we?

mandirjs (12:59:18 AM): Haha

mandirjs (12:59:31 AM): "Talk with horrible grammar. It's popular, you know."

"Tess" (1:00:09 AM): "You don't know what it is? Well it goes like this; Word homes whass gone down in da hizz?"

mandirjs (1:01:29 AM): Miyavi: "What's a hizz?"

mandirjs (1:01:34 AM): Me: "It's a house silly!"

"Tess" (1:01:37 AM): XD

mandirjs (1:01:41 AM): Miyavi: "Why do I care what's going on in a house?"

mandirjs (1:01:48 AM): "Because it's just something you say
"

"Tess" (1:02:05 AM): "And don't forget to call your women ho;s!"

mandirjs (1:02:13 AM): "OH and be prepared to buy fake, flashy teeth. Or at least get some tin foil!"

"Tess" (1:02:27 AM): "Or gum wrappers!"

mandirjs (1:02:41 AM): "But be careful, if you stick licked gum-wrappers on your head, it will burn"

mandirjs (1:04:24 AM): Anything we're missing?

"Tess" (1:04:29 AM): Hmm

"Tess" (1:04:36 AM): Grab your crotch

mandirjs (1:04:45 AM): And cuss like a sailor

"Tess" (1:04:46 AM): Wome--I mean, Hoes love that

mandirjs (1:05:26 AM): XDD

mandirjs (1:05:28 AM): That's it! *watches Miyavi continues to scribble on notepad*

"Tess" (1:06:19 AM): You're officially gangsta

:D
We successfully taught Miyavi how to be gangsta.
Just check his new stuff!

I am...

2008-08-03T17:27:00.000-05:00

August 03, 2008

Scared.

Life is moving way too fast for my taste.
I wish I knew where the pause button was.
I wish I could wake up and be entering the 10th grade again, be 14 again, be..."mature for my age" rather than plain "mature."

I don't think I can handle the responsibilities of being a Junior, much less an adult.

I'm scared.
I don't think I'm ready.
And I don't have any choice in the matter.

Just a little rant

2008-07-31T02:51:00.000-05:00

July 31, 2008

Many people claimed to dislike Brokeback Mountain for multiple reasons.
I find the most aggravating reason to be Jack and Ennis's "Too-Quick relationship."
Many find the...ahem Love-Tent scene to be completely random, and see it as a rather odd jump from just two guys ranching to their aggressive...you know.

BUT If you actually paid attention throughout the opening (Yes, it's long. Get over it), You'd see hints leading up to the point.

1. Jack seemed to be looking Ennis up and down when they first met. He had the whole "I wanna but...I need to meet him...but I'm nervous...let's impress him" air about him. Maybe it was just me, but that's what I read off of his body-language in the VERY FIRST SCENE.

2. A bit more obvious now, Jack tries to get to know Ennis in his own quirky ways. Telling stories about growing up and almost making their life-stories a competition in the bar. That's ...what the second scene"?

3. It isn't uncommon for men to get lonely during the 3 or 4 months away from home.

4. In the Tent scene, after Ennis comes in from the freezing cold, Jack eventually pulls Ennis' hand over his body. At first it seems innocent, until they both bolt up. Then you see Jack (and his ever-building sexual tension) basically attach Ennis.
After some aggressive fidgeting, Jack gets straight to business, pulling Ennis along with him.

5. In a much later scene, when the two boys are meeting up, it is implied by Ennis that Jack was gay (or at the very least interested in men in some way or another) before Ennis even met him. Though, I admit, Jack claimed to have been Straight near the beginning, it is obvious his feelings are a bit different towards this cowboy.

Hmm.
That was a lame argument for my side.
But I saw Jack as gay before I even knew he was.
Or at least, I saw he was interested in Ennis for more than just a buddy-pal relationship.
O.O;

Um, what?

2008-07-15T18:33:00.000-05:00

July 15, 2008

mandirjs (12:25:41 AM): *twangy accent* "WEEEEE are having baaaaaad days"

"Kisho" (12:26:23 AM): ......

"Kisho" (12:26:27 AM): *runs away*

mandirjs (12:26:28 AM): "aaand it suuuuuuucks"

mandirjs (12:26:34 AM): "But weeeeee'll pull through....."

mandirjs (12:26:40 AM): "Wiiiith our dodge truuuuuucks"

"Kisho" (12:26:53 AM): Don't forget our cowboy hats!

mandirjs (12:27:45 AM): "aaand our ten-gallon haaats"

mandirjs (12:27:51 AM): "will be emptied of our daytime teaaaars:

mandirjs (12:28:05 AM): "Theyyy will be filled with ....chocolate miiilk!"

mandirjs (12:28:11 AM): ...because that rhymes.

"Kisho" (12:28:25 AM): Sure it does!

mandirjs (12:28:27 AM): :D

My life story? I think not.

2008-06-24T18:17:00.000-05:00

June 24, 2008

I'm honestly not very sure why I'm posting this at all.
I guess I felt I ought to think back to when I was a kid and see how I grew?
I'm not sure...hmmm....
Either way.

Pre-K didn't exist where I lived. I remember, as a kid, driving by the Kindergarden/Elementary school, asking my dad "When does school start?" every day the summer before Kindergarden. And the summer before. And the summer before. I was so excited to learn...I mean, my brain just hungerd for knowledge. I already had a bookbag, pencils...you know, everything. I wanted to go to school like the big kids and know things.
Of course, it could also have been some subconcious want to show off my reading skillz....w~

Kindergarden was a mess. Seriously.
I was so excited my first day...I honestly don't remember that fabled inability to let go that other kids seem to get on their first day. I was ready to go.
I had an angel of a teacher. She was absolutely amazing. I mean, the light just followed her. I remember, on my birthday, she made me cupcakes, and the entire class got to have the sugary delights.
Of course, my angel had to be taken away. My dad was in the military, you see...so he was restationed in this town near Floresville. I.e. Nowhereseville.
My new kindergarden was no where near as amazing. My teacher was horrid-mean and I didn't like being there.
Honestly. However, since my nap time was different than it was in San Antonio, I got to play computer games when I couldn't sleep. You know, those Jump-Start games? Yeah. Those.
By the end of the year I had made a couple of good friends~and one really good friend, Edward.

First Grade was spent in Floresville. With Edward as my older-brother guard (he was a grade older than me) and Georgie as my trusty companion, we were unstopable. Of course, I had friends my age--Michelle and Erica and whatnot--but I didn't have the after-school adventures with them like I did with Edward and Georgie. We did everything together...from playing pokemon card-games, to adventures in the woods, to tire-swings, to sleepovers...everything. Funny anecdote: I remember talking to my friend, Erica, next to the big silver slide in the playground. Michelle was on top of the slide and was desperately trying to get my attention. After a few thousand "AMANDAAAA!"s, I turned on my heel and yelled up "It's not polite to interrupt!" and finished my conversation with Erica. Michelle was so dumbfounded, she forgot what she was going to tell me. My teachers were Mrs. Snow and Mrs. Miller. Mrs. Snow was the type of character who's name fit her personality. She was cold. And she was mean.
She had her entire room set up in this weird circle-around-the-teacher thing.
And whenever someone got something wrong, she tended to look directly in my direction and YELL. Like I was the one at fault. I remember crying a lot in her class. She taught History and...something else. English, I guess.
Now, Mrs. Miller was awesome. She taught Math and Literature. Pwn. I loved her.

Second Grade I was supposed to go back to my 1st grade teachers.
Like hell I was going back to Mrs. Snow. So, I got my parents to talk to some people and managed to get myself in Mrs. Millers' class full-time.
You see, both teachers taught all four subjects. She rocked.

Third Grade (Philips Elementary) My dad found a job in Dallas, as his back ailments forced him to resign from the military...But he was still stuck on small-towns, so we settled in Kaufman. I remember I went to a girl-scout recruitment meeting, since I needed to make new friends, in June. Funny anecdote: during the meeting, we were given colors and pictures of bears. I think it was she who came in late because of soccor...or maybe it was me....whatever. Anyways, I saw this girl with BIG poofy hair coloring and so I sat near her...or maybe I invited her over. Either way, we were next to eachother. Now, I was coloring my bear with some really ugly brown color, and I asked her to lend me her pink one, for the ears. Anyways, that girl's name is Madeline, and we've been best friends since. Third grade was a mess, too. First I was assigned by the attendance office to Mrs. Shaw, who told me I wasn't on her attendance list. But, she said, there was an Amanda Smith on Mrs. Nation's roster, so I should go find her. So, I did. I sat down at a little desk with my name on it. I picked up the goody-bag Mrs. Nations had put together for me (so I thought) and I began making friends when...(dundunduuun) the OTHER Amanda Smith showed up. Amanda Nicole Smith. We checked the roster and I had to go back to Mrs. Shaw's class. She wrote me in, and I sat at an empty seat next to this hispanic boy. I tried to sound out his name and perk-ily asked him "So, you're name's Josie? Like...a girl?" and he says in this really pissed off voice "No. It's Mexican. It's Jose". Crap.
And to top it off, I kept forgetting Madeline's name, so she was every name I could think of that started with an M for a while.

Fourth grade wasn't all that special. Madeline got detenion the first day in Mrs. Cross's class (we had the class together) for not having glasses. I remember her, Caroline and me coming up with "Never Cross Mrs. Cross or Mrs. Cross'll cross you" or something....either way it was meant to be mean. XD It was either this year or 5th grade that Caroline had her last year with us. D:
XD Me, Caroline and Max all came up with Super Cheeseman, and our horse games this year, I believe.

Fifth grade we moved up to Nash Intermediate. Woo. Graduation. It was about the time I started to think about boys in a way other than friends. You know, crushes and whatnot. In fact, I discovered this old diary entery about one of the boys in my class. I was like "Omigod,he'ssocuteandstuff"
That year I had decided to join choir...mistake. I believe I transferred to get into art by second semester.
Blech.

Sixth grade Woo. Graduation. No.
I had a plethera of teachers now, including Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Burkheart, and others. I think I had a total of 5 or 7.
Also, during my sixth grade year, was when everyones' voices changed, and we all got a bit more mature than we were before. XD
It was also the year Jacob and Hanna moved to Kaufman. I was assigned to be their tour-guide for the first few days. I had band for the first time this year too, so I had a new instrument to learn, as well as new friends to make and more fitting-in to do. I think I took art this year too, since my math-choice allowed me to have two electives.
Also, this is the year my parents split up. That didn't make Junior high any easier for me, thank you.

Seventh grade. Oh God. Junior High. To be specific: O.P. Norman.
Can you say DRAMA? I had a bad haircut, so I was constantly mistaken for a boy. The fact that I was still flat-chested probably didn't help my case. I started Dance along with Band (and possibly art, as well?) so I had a few more things to do at home besides homework. This was the first year I had real lockers in the hallways, and my first year of even -trying- relationships. I dated Antonio for about a month as the school year was coming to an end...that didn't last. Then I went out with Thomas after an eight-hour drive of nothing but talking the entire time, since both of us were insomniacs. XD That did happen to last a long time.
I learned that I am a painful flirt, that I can bloom overnight (gee, thanks Mother Nature) and I am not most people's ideal dream-girl. Woo.

Eight Grade sucked. I was hated most of the year for stupid reasons. I had pizza thrown at me constantly during lunch. Madeline moved in September, so I was basically alone. I pretty much hated life right about then. I had fewer friends than I could remember ever happening, but I managed to trudge through. Thank God for KCCT, ne? I discovered it in 7th grade, but didn't really get involved until the 8th. I made a bunch of new friends during the show Annie in 7th (like Marty and Randall etc). But in regular school, most of my friends (including my boyfriend) had graduated to Highschool, so I was left to fend for myself. Band was a nice outlet, though. Everyone was nice at least during band. This is when the Josie drama really got out of hand, the Kitty drama got insane (it's on my xanga) and I broke up with Thomas. 2 days before the year-mark. That had to have stung...it did me, anyways.
But I auditioned for Booker T at the end of the year after learning about it the week before. My stepmom sweet-talked the people into letting me turn in my application late, and I had to take an SAT9, before. Which is where I met Edo.

Ninth grade didn't start out as planned. I was on the waiting list for Booker T, so I didn't start there immedietly. I did, however, attend Band Camp and Lionettes Camp (Drill team) and managed to get myself settled back into my old friends and relationships. I dated Kitty for about a month, and then dated Thomas again.
By the third week of school (or later?), the first football game was rolling around, so the band was in high-gear with before and after school rehearsals. On the wednesday before the game, I got a call asking me to start at Booker T the next day. I don't believe I cried harder than I did that night. I had two world to choose. And both hurt, but felt so perfect at the same time. Obviously, I chose Booker T, but only after my first Football game. I'm sure it's because I was leaving, but I got Lionette of the Week and performed my first and last football game. By Monday, I started at Booker T. (Of course, I had to start on a B day of all things ><). Block schedules were new to me, but I had Edo to keep by, so at least I had one friend. Also, my friend Andy (Who I had auditioned with) made it as well, so I got to see her too. I was put in a lot of sophomore cluster clasess, as well as most of my required ones. I made friends pretty quickly, though I was Edo's clone most days.

Apparently, a lot of people didn't like me that way.
I lost a lot of Kaufman friends that year. D:

But, by the end of the year, with the death of my Grandmother piled with the death of my Grandpa Fred, and the hanging-myself-with-my-own-metaphorical-rope, my eyes were opened to that fact. I met Maddie second semester, and we've been really tight ever since.
I'm pretty sure I met Kisho right at the end of the year, since he attended Broadway lights (*shudder*), and I met Niisan a few weeks before. Well...IM'd anyways. XD

Tenth Grade went a hell of a lot smoother. I managed to fix a lot of my old frienships gone awry in Kaufman over the summer, and Thomas broke up with me before 9th grade ended. I dated Braden for almost 3 months, but that wasn't very long. I attended my first con the summer between, and had a blast. I was becoming my own person, and strengthening my relationships with a lot of people, especially Maddie. I got to experience the move between Nolan Estas and the new building, and I learned a lot along the way. I began dating Jacob on September 11th and still am. I made a lot of new friends, who were really there the entire time, if only I had let them in last year. For example: Andi Ball-Mesa, who I can't get over. Lakyn, who I love. Alyssa and John. Jean Luc, Katie, Kayla, Aaron (more this year than last), Dena and a lot more. I got to learn a lot about vocal technique, comedy and other ...acting skills? XD
I managed to make my year rock, honestly. But it went by too fast.
Too bad French sucked ><
I also learned that everyone has a bad side to them, but if you accept the bad side, you can really love the good side.
And I became even closer to the friends I managed to establish last year, spare Edo. Who basically dumped me. Oh well. We don't talk much anymore.
XD

Junior year I hope will be fun. At least half as fun as my Sophomore year, and I will be set. I'm taking a French II course this summer, so I can have more cluster classes next year, and I have a lot of new projects to do for my AP classes.
I'm pretty psyched. I'm still with Jacob, as I said. And I hope there's less drama, spare the whole "omigodwe'regraduatingnextyear" stuff.
:D

Anyways, I don't think I got anywhere with this post, but it entertained me for about an hour.
I hope you enjoyed the peek into my life...and tell me if you noticed any growth in there.
I know I did, it's obvious if you know me, and even moreso if you knew me back when I attended Kaufman schools. But I dunno if it came across in this...
Yeah.
:D
Thanks!

String Matrix

2008-06-23T21:54:00.001-05:00

June 23, 2008

You know, if I ever actually put any music to my songs, I'd have something to put on my stupid music page that's going NO WHERE in a heartbeat :D

Okay.
Here ya go.
Newest song~Dedicated to Wolfe

String-Matrix

Let me take you through the forest of my mind
Flowers and Foldgers
Never know what you may find.
Tit for tat
This for that
What do you think of that?
What do you think of that?

Been here for hours in the sauna of my mind
Towels strewn about,
The steamer may go blind
Tit for tat
Tit for that
What do you think of that?
What do you think of that?

(chorus) I think it means we live in a world of made of string
So many, so many, tangled-up strings
Puppeteer, Puppeteer, gimme your hand
Let's all untangle our tangled up land

I'm getting lost here in the maze that is my mind
Don't know which way to go
I wonder who'll find..me...
Tit for tat
Tit for that
What do you think of that?
What do you think of that?

I found an out here, in a corner of my mind
A bit of door here,
Dotted by an exit sign
That bit of tit for tat
That bit of this for that
Here's what I think of that...
Here's what I think of that...

I think it means we live in a world of made of string
So many, so many, tangled-up strings
Puppeteer, Puppeteer, gimme your hand
Let's detangle, retangle, shetangle, metangle, wetangle, this land

Woo.

Pi-r Squared.

2008-03-14T21:25:00.000-05:00

March 14, 2008

Pi r squared

Pi r squared, No Pi r round
Who gives a damn, let’s talk this out
Pi r squared, No Pi r round
Who gives a damn, let’s just make out.

Study buddy, over here
I need some help with number queer
I understand the problem right
Won’t you please stay late through the night

Pi r squared, No Pi r round
Who really cares, let’s just act out.
Pi r squared, no Pi r round,
Who really cares, I wanna shout

Tutor, Tutor, over here
I need some help with number queer
Did I get that function right?
I’m sure I’m gonna pass, alright.

Pi r squared, No Pi r round
Who gives a damn, don’t make a sound
Pi r squared, no Pi r round,
Who gives a damn, let’s twisn’shout

Mentor, mentor, help me please?
I need a study pal to tease
He’ll help me with my equations
But only when we’re not kiss-un’

Pi r squared, no Pi r round
Who really cares, I’ll make you proud
Pi r squared, no Pi r round
Who really cares, let’s just rock out

I passed my test, I got a star
I knew you could help me go far
I got a "C" it’s not that great
I think you should stay over late

Pi r squared no Pi r round
Who gives a damn, let’s act this out
Pi r squared no Pi r round
Who gives a damn, let’s work this out

Buddy, Tutor, Mentor, sir
About this here, I’m just not sure
I need some help, homework’s a drag
But hey, who cares? We’ll lallygag

Pi r squared no Pi r round
Who really cares, I got this right
Pi r squared no Pi r round
Who really cares, you’re here tonight

~Another song with a melody? Porque?

Bury Me In Yellow

2008-03-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

March 12, 2008

FINALLY!
I've put a melody to some of my lyrics XD
Here's the song:

Bury me in yellow and throw a big parade
Hand out cotton candy and relive the last decade
I want to see no one crying as I head into the sky
All I want is laughter that shoots up 10 miles high

Funerals are celebrations
So why must we all cry?
Let’s live the way of the Africans
And sing them to the sky.
Funerals are celebrations
So why must we all cry?
Let’s live the way of the Africans
And sing them to the sky

Bury me in orange and throw a tidy ball
Get those funny men on stilts standing 8 feet tall
I want to see no one crying as I fly into the sky
All I want is laughter that meets me 10 miles high

Funerals are celebrations
So why must we all cry?
Let’s live the life of the Africans
And dance them to the sky
Funerals are celebrations
So why must we all cry?
Let’s live the life of the Africans
And dance them to the sky

Bury me in taffeta pink and throw a fantastic party
Hand out gifts and snacks and love eat a meal so hearty
That everyone is too busy smiling to cry me to the sky
All I want is laughter that nudges me 10 miles high

Funerals are celebrations
We must never cry
Let’s dress up like the Africans
And dance them to the sky
Funerals are celebrations
Who said we should cry?
Let’s party like the Africans
and sing them to the sky.

Ten things

2007-12-15T16:46:00.000-06:00

December 15, 2007

Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:
1. God, I'm so grateful we met way back when. As much as you may not realize it, you were a really big part of my growing up over the years. Our friendship was fairly shallow, you came and went--but you just knew how to listen and how to help me when I needed it. Others considered you weird and annoying sometimes, but that was because they never heard you really speak. And I'm so happy I was one of the few you DID speak to...about more than just Band...at school. And now I'm really glad we've become more than friends. You're the best I could ever hope for, and I hope I don't screw this up.

2. We haven't known each other a very long time, but you were my first REAL friend at school. I didn't even really realize it till last night, but the friends I -did- hang out with just used me. To be their puppet or guinea pig for experiments. And you really helped show me that I can be more than that. And because of that I've managed to respect myself a little more. You don't realize how much I value our relationship sometimes, but that's o.k. We'll both come to some understanding soon. You're my best friend, and remember, I'm a listener. Vent when you need to k? But stop worrying about your weight! YOU ARE GORGEOUS. >< Gah. I luff you

3. I am SO glad we aren't friends anymore. You used me like a puppet and tested me like an experiment. Our relationship was shallow, but I hung on because, honestly, you were my only friend at the time. I didn't seem to realize until we grew apart how much you hurt me. I was depressed half of last year BECAUSE of you. Because of your lack of acknowledgment and constant disappointment over NOTHING. Thank GOD we aren't to the point where I depend on your approval every day at school anymore. I'm not your clone, and I'm proud.

4. You are possibly the only woman I would go gay for :p. I love you beyond reason and I hope our friendship stays strong. You have a really interesting perspective on life and I love to hear your side of things. And I know you have my back when people are being b**chy, and I have yours.

5. I'm really happy we're friends. I mean, you can be the world's biggest asshole (gomen) sometimes, but you're still cool. And funny. And you make my friends laugh. As maddie said, I think you're a keeper.

6. I love watching you grow up. I mean, you're only 4 1/2, but you're so bloody cute. And I really hope we keep our friendship strong. I want to watch you grow old and have kids. I love you lil' sis.

7. You may not think I appreciate you as much as others, but I appreciate you more. You've raised me to not show my emotions when I'm around you, because they upset you. I've finally figured it out, and try to keep it to myself. But it seems to be backfiring on me, seeing as how you can't see how much I love you. I wish I could find a happy medium.

8. Gah, you're a B****

9. Haha, even though your voice rarely has ANY emotional inflictions, you still make me laugh. You're the weirdest person I know, without even being weird. I love the fact we're friends. You've played a big part in my life for 7 years, and I don't want to stop that.

10. We don't know each other very well, but I value our short friendship. I love to email you and I can't wait until we get each other's pen-letters. I love to read the warmth in your letters, and I know how dedicated you are to your friends. I hope we become really close over the years, and that I can see you sometimes!

Nine Things About Yourself:
1. I watch lips. It's not a sign of disrespect, it's how I learned to speak. I have issues understanding what you're saying if I'm reading your eyes, unless I love you, I trust you, or we're in an interview.
2. I still get nervous on stage. I've been doing it for years, but everyone seems to think I'm a ball of courage. Nope. I melt right after.
3. I'm really selfish sometimes. I'm sorry, but I have my moments in which I really do wish the world revolved around me for 4 or so minutes. And I'm sorry I act that way a lot nowadays. It's what happens when you don't focus on yourself 24/7 for over 5 years.
4. I. Love. Kaufman. If you make fun of my town, my friends or my sometimes-accent, I will BEAT. YOU. DOWN. Never make fun of a small-town girl. I've got a lot of pride. Suck it.
5. I'm freakishly indecisive. Sorry guys.
6. When I get nervous or frustrated, I might cry. Don't worry, it's just letting out emotions. Hug me, though. Even if I tell you not to. Okay? It lets' me know you care.
7. I do believe in God, I just don't shove the bible down everyone's throat like some do.
8. I want to touch as many lives as I can. Even if it is just with a hug when they're down.
9. I love making people happy. I used to be known as a people-pleaser because I devoted my life to that. I realized I can't do that and be happy as well, but if we can compromise, that'd be great :D

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. LISTEN TO ME
2. Care about me
3. Let me be who I want to be. You don't have to like what I like, but let me be myself.
4. Be a true friend. And get ready to hug a lot--it's how I grew up (Smalltowns=lotso'hugs)
5. Don't be afraid to be idiotic or seize the day.
6. Play with my hair, please? :D
7. Don't cheat, don't lie, don't think you can get away with it.
8. Love yourself too

Six Things You Wish You Never Did: (Someone else said 1-6, but I agree)
1. There's no point in wishing I never did something when it's already happened.
2. The past is in the past now.
3. And I do believe it should stay that way.
4. I live in today.
5. Strive for a better future.
6. And never lose sight of myself.
[^^ Stolen from Maddie, thank youuu!)
Five Turn Offs:
1. Being oblivious to things I care about
2. Immaturity.
3. Any signs of being abusive
4. Cheating
5. The whole "Men are better than women" attitude. Pisses me off. D:

Four Turn Ons:
1. Humor
2. Cute smile
3. Groomed.
4. Talent

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1. :D
2. XD
3. D:

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Meet some of my heroes
2. Do something important that will be remembered at least by 1 person.

One Confession:
I get bummed out really easily, and I take most of what people say to heart. But I can bounce back quickly if I'm allowed to vent, and listen to my music, and just laugh with friends about boob-sizes (Well, not just that, but it seems to be a reoccuring topic, XDD)

"Anyone can imagine. Only special people can create" ~Me.
XD

Dinosaurs and Rubber Ducks

2007-11-20T17:11:00.000-06:00

November 20, 2007

Fairly pointless "How I am now" blog:

Basically I'm content. Off-and-on sicknesses suck, though.
Jacob has been getting increasingly sicker since about 2 weeks into our relationship. Maybe I'm some kind of virus....o.o
Whatever.
School's going pretty well. I mean, spare the idiotic-ness of certain teachers (who do not need to be named, but are obvious to anyone who knows me...)
I'm doing well grade-wise I think ^^. Ummm
Theatre classes are spare to none...D,: The only one I have is Acting Problems
But that's okay. At least it's Flex, so I'm not going every-other-day with no cluster classes AT ALL.
That would suck...
ANYWAYS
Working on some more lyrics. I wish I had a more musical mind to put a melody to them.....T.T
Any help is always appreciated. My most recent songs are in this Blog...some aren't posted for personal reasons, others because they've yet to be translated, and others because I'm too lazy to post them :p
...Eeh...
I'm doing pretty well in my language studies, I think.
Learning new Japanese phrases/characters pretty much every day (Thank you Zach, Kiwi and others)
I think I've gotten the hang of French
And IPA is ubereasy, and not really a language so.. :)
Only think I wish I could do, right now, is change some relationship statuses that I have.
TOTALLY lost contact with some rather close friends....I wish I could mend them...
I'm not even sure why some people are ignoring me lately.
I mean....I have an idea, but I'm not going to act on it, ya know?
This, honestly, is the most point-lacking blog I've posted.
No rhythm or rhyme....D: Who cares? :o
Ahh

Just a message to broadcast to the world:
If you're having a problem with me, or have had one that you'd like to fix, please confront me. I (most likely) want to fix it too.
Just tell me, kay?
:D

Painting pretty pictures

2007-11-19T05:29:00.000-06:00

November 19, 2007

Wish NOT Fulfilled

If I were a painter
I would a paint away the anger
with pretty flowers
and abstract shapes
and oddly-shaped people
who smile fake smiles
and frown fake frowns
made of charcoal and pencil and ink and paints

If I were a dancer
I would dance to tell a story
of life and death
of reoccurring dreams
and imaginary people
who smile fake smiles
and frown fake frowns
made of wrist-flicks and toe-points and leaps and sashays

If I were a musician
I would write a song so blue
you will cry in spite of you
telling of smoky bars
and silly clowns
and drugs and sobriety
and people who smile fake smiles
and frown fake frowns
made of candies and words and bribes and money

Painting pictures of imaginary things
Dancing dances of imaginary scenes
Singing songs of imaginary friends
Living in my own imaginary world
with people and things that smile fake smiles
and frown fake frowns
made of charcoal and wrist-flicks and money and life.

~More...music?

?

2007-11-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

November 18, 2007

Okay, so it has come to my attention that a lot of people think that my obsession with Japan is just a phase.
Hell, the fact that I like Japan has, apparently, given some people actual REASON to hate me.
Could someone please tell me the logic in this?

So, to clear the air on certain viewpoints of mine, I'm going to address a few of the more "pressing" (i.e. obvious) reasons behind why certain people dislike my taste. And please, don't tell me something is wrong. Unless I claim it as fact, this is all opinion. Okay? Alright.

1. Japanese Music
There are a few reasons why I like Japanese music better than American music.
For one thing, there really is no "cover" scene.
A lot of today's artists are too *ahem* artistically drained to come up with their own music or lyrics. So, naturally, they take old one-hit-wonders and remix them to make them sound more modern, and with their voice.
I have yet to run across a cover of an earlier Japanese song.
Spare "Requiem" and "Dear...from XXX" But Miyavi was IN the band that performed them first, so, honestly, I think he's an exception (That law goes for any American singers that had done covers of songs from bands they were in)
Also, I like the feel I get from Japanese music. (Rock, not pop) If I were to ask you to listen to "Akuro no Oka" and then had you tell me what you thought the song was about, I bet you would hit it right on the nail. Most of the music that I listen to conveys whatever feeling and message they have through their voice alone. (You don't have to understand the language to know what the singer is trying to say.
It just helps -_^ )
That is rare among American artists. (And don't you dare argue that one.)

2. Fashion
Okay, this one is a given.
Japanese Street-Fashion is BEYOND creative. It entrances me, and captivates me.
It's amazing what these people come up with. It can range from cute to EXCRUCIATINGLY scary. Seriously.
The basic "style" of Japanese Street-fashion IS to have no "style"
So, when you look at me strangely when I walk down the street with clashing patterns, colors and insane hair....remember that I dare to be different.
American Fashion, however, has become VERY stereotyped.
Go to Hot Topic to find the dwindling Gothic clothing, or the ever-growing "scene" style clothing (Honestly, Scene is like a cheap rip-off of Street Fashion, but too afraid to be weird)
Go to A&F or Hollister for the "preppy" style.
Go to Walmart for the "gangsta" style (I'm not kidding, guys.)
Go to Spencers for the "skater" look. If coupled with Hot Topic, you can become "emo" or a toned-down version of "scene"
Am I getting my point across?
Us, as Americans, are lacking in creativity when it comes to fashion. Of course the stuff on the runway can get pretty insane, but who the heck is going to pay $1,000 for a paper-bag dress?

3. School/Education
Alright.
Here are a couple of stereotypes that we, sadly, fill out in at LEAST a quarter of our classes.
Enter a room full of American students.
What do you see?
That's right. You see kids slouching, paying NO attention to the teacher. Papers EVERYWHERE. Absolutely NO discipline. The teacher has given up on even -trying- to teach, and has retired to his corner to go to check his MYSPACE. The few kids that are attempting to LEARN something are frustrated beyond belief, and are searching relentlessly through their books for answers to questions, whilst the kids around them are screaming and disturbing the few classes that actually CARE.
Enter a room full of Japanese students (This is based on my 2 penpals, gomen if it isn't ALWAYS correct.)
What do you see?
You see kids doing work, studying whilst the teacher is giving a lecture.
You see at LEAST a couple of them taking notes, and a few are zoning out (oh well)
Most of the kids actually LOOK interested in what the teacher says, and are paying attention with at least 3/4 of their brain-function. They are QUIET. They are NOT GOOFING OFF. All of the classes have at least semi-attentive students taking notes or registering what the teacher is saying in a little file-cabinet in the back of their brains.

See how the Japanese actually CARE a little bit?
Hell, you stick an American-taught kid, and a Japanese-taught kid,
give them a difficult-ish question.
I wonder who answers correctly...FIRST.
Ding ding ding. Japanese.

4. I WAS BORN THERE
Of course I'm going to be at least SEMI interested in a place that I was BORN in.
Most of you have lived in Dallas/Irving/Copell/Kaufman/Terrell/[insert your town] for the vast majority of your life. IF NOT ALL OF IT.
If you were born in Dallas, and then moved to England when you were 5, wouldn't you be interested in American culture?
Of course you would!

Geez.

Okay, that was a lame argument.
But whatever.

U.U

Spektor

2007-11-10T05:42:00.001-06:00

November 10, 2007

Was amazing. Seriously. Like, beyond amazing.
So was her opening act-Only Son.
He came out, uber drunk. Hillarious. Had a talking iPod (ask me some other time)...yeah, amazing. His music was kinda slow, but I liked it...was very good, I thought.
Regina came out UBER late (Only Son came out about an hour after starting time, and then Regina half an hour to an hour after him) ...yeah, Uber late.
But we didn't care.
She started out with "Aint no cover" ..no introduction, no "hello" she just got up to the mic and sang au capella. 'Twas amazing. I love her voice.
Then she went to the piano and played a few songs including On the Radio, Buildings, Blue Lips, Love Affair, Sailor song, Baby Jesus (Hillarious, seriously and she like--ATE the microphone. Pahaha) and some others. And after every two or three songs she'd say "Thank you" or "Thank you for coming to my show" Seriously, NO ONE in that audience didn'g go "AWW" every time. She's so adorable. Then she got up and played "That Time" and "Bobbin' for Apples" (All the family-like units left after that. I can understand, with lines like "Someone next door is F***ing to one of MY songs" But, seriously. They should have known she isn't kid-friendly. w~) on the bass guitar. They were amazinggreat. Then she went back and played some more songs including Us, Feild Below, Apres Moi, Summer in the City, a dedicated Samson (To her friend Aaron, who isn't alive anymore. But it was his birthday, so she felt it was only right to dedicate to it) and a few that I didn't recognize (I'm still kind of new to her music...whatever) and then she ran off..and everyone was like "NOO~~~" so she came back on and played Ghost of Corporate Future, Chemo Limo, Uh-Merica (We all got to go "UH!" and the lights would go on whilst saying it--so she stopped and said something along the lines of "Omigod! Lights! I CAN SEE YOU!!" She was excited and giggled. It was hillarious) and then a sing-along version of Fidelity (She sped up the ending "And it breaks my heart" since there's like...50billion XD) and then for her finale, she pulled out Only Son and they did an au capella/beat-box version of Hotel Song. Pure Amazing. She even tried to beatbox and started doing some weird car-alarm sounds. It was SO adorable... Seriously. Nyaw~

Haha, and at one point of time, we were all screaming and this guy in the back was like "SHUT THE F*** up!!" And some uber drunk girl near me yelled back something along the lines of 'Why don't you' and finished it with a VERY loud "Thats why your in the F***ing back!!" Regina cracked up. It was so cute. She then said "You know, they say Texans are wild...*crowdcheer*...startin' brawls...gettin' drunk.....(pause) Makin babies..." Now, if you've ever heard her talk, you'd know why this was so freakishly hillarious.
We all cracked up. Amazingx5

I almost bought a T-shirt there, but I realized that if I got it off her site, I can just buy it for like..$10 less on her site. So, I'm gonna do that soonish. XD
I went home and bought all the CD's i didn't have and downloaded all kinds of Lives, so that I could get her un-recorded stuffz. Yush ^^ *arm pump*

Life is amazing.
Regina
Equals (=)
Pwn.
Seriously.
/hyperhappiness

Questions for answers

2007-09-20T20:21:00.000-05:00

September 20, 2007

Sinking sun
Gulping water
Breath-taking beauty
Sudden darkness

Pine forest
soft ground
refreshing smells
a new mystery

Questions for answers
Answers for questions
Knowledge isn't everything
Creativity is

Crystal castle
mystic and glowing
a beauty fit for gods
a new adventure

Empty rooms,
spare small galaxies
tastes of ever-lasting knowledge
an amazing story

Questions for answers
Answers for questions
Knowledge isn't everything
Creativity is

The grand room
atop a tall tower
feels smooth to the touch
a grand sight

A crystal vase
inside a rose
within a magic seed
of who you are,
who you were
who you will be
Questions for answers
Answers for questions
Knowledge isn't everything
Creativity is

Inside the seed
I see my past
I hear my future
I feel the present
I taste the possibilities
I smell the success

Questions for answers
Answers for questions
Knowledge isn't everything
Creativity is

~Yet another melody-less song

Porque?

2007-09-11T13:07:00.000-05:00

September 11, 2007

Why?

You know what's fairly pathetic?

The fact that most of my bulletins are surveys, or asking someone else to help.
And the fact that most of my photos are your generic Myspace Angle Photos....
AND the fact that most of my blogs are rant-raves.

What the hell?

Oh well.

I had fun over the weekend.
First, me and Maddie went to a football game--ended up taking Jacob home (he had no ride) and we all went out to get icecream beforehand.
Anyways.
Took him home. Maddie stayed the night.

Then, on Saturday, we had this KCCT thing going on, so I dragged Maddie and Jacob to it. We all...goofed off *Yeah!* and afterwords, me and Maddie were to go to Danny's party. So, we all went to the mall to find a gift--found the place was closed (D:) but whatever. Jacob was all he-man on us, and opened my evil Hello Tranny camera thing. ^^
Then we dragged HIM to the party too. That was just...fun ^^

Then on Suday I saw 1408 with Jacob and Emily.
Awesome movie. I had fun. Even through the part where all you could hear was a heartbeat...u.u

Yay.

Monday was fine.
Today was OK
Tomorrow will Pwn.
Thursday will be OK
and Friday will be fun ^^
Yay.

Heh...heh...^.^;;

2007-08-01T09:09:00.000-05:00

August 1, 2007

Alright, so I was in Jillian's room...
Looking for something cute to cuddle *i.e. stuffed animal* because I'm bored/lonely in my boring room.

Aaaanyways,
I went in there singing "Piko pikopiko piko pikopiko pikoooori!"
....found one and left.

I decided the one I got was too stiff, so I went back in, looked on the dresser and
BAM I realized the baby monitor had been on the entire time.
I'm just hoping to dear God that Dad dismisses it as a dream.

uberembarrasing.

Yeah.

That's my story!

~Ugly Duckling~
Little bird with only one wing
Trying to fly?
How silly.

Utterly Disappointed In Myself

2007-07-27T12:38:00.000-05:00

July 27, 2007

Beware, utterly stupid fangirl-esque post going on... bleh

Okay, Bou has been gone since April 30th, the decision was made before that.
I knew that.
I didn't accept it at first, but I have.

Yet, I'm crying.
Why?
I read all of the members' take on his leave.
I can't comprehend the pain they each felt.
Some more than others, of course,
but Bou's last entries were nothing but "Keep smiling, your support keeps me going" and "Your smile is energizing to me, I cannot wait to see your smiles, I will do my best to reach perfection on that stage" etc....I'm amazed at his courage.
And the members' strength,
they all were a family, and just lost a member.
It hurt them so bad, yet they were so courageous, I'm proud of them.

Why am I crying though? It already happened!

Whatever, I've got to stop wallowing in the past...and embrace the future of my beloved bands!
And my own! CROWNx WILL PREVAIL! Hahaha

Honestly, I actually support Yuuki and Takuya, the poor guys have had nothing but sh*t since they joined. Yes, Yuuki isn't the prettiest thing on the planet, but you shouldn't judge his skill based on that.

Many say Yuuki is not needed, but if you listen to all of their old music, nearly every song has keyboard-music in it, they just didn't have a set one. Now, they do.
Give the guy a chance, okay?

And Takuya, he's been accepted a lot faster than Yuuki, probably because he is cute ^^.
I understand why you may dislike him--he's replacing Bou,
but give him, and Yuuki a break.
They're both like, 19! So young!
Don't crush their dreams just yet!

~-~

I'm stopping now.
Byebye, Nyappy

Mask?

2007-07-23T11:11:00.000-05:00

July 23, 2007

maichou ni, okite, okite
Go through routines so familiar, so comforting
sekai e mukou mae ni, "mask" wo kazukete
A mask that shows the world, not who we are, but who they want us to be.
Who "They" are, we never really know.
hibi no reiten wo shikakete-
Walking, riding, learning, teaching, yelling, screaming,
laughing, crying, eating, walking, riding,
Resting. Resting. nemuri.
aru hi, saikuringu ruuchin chuu ni, nanka ga kaeru
dare ka to deatte?someone special, [someone special.]
mata atte? planned this time.
yukkuri mask wo nugou to shite, tokubetsunin wo miseru tame ni
hontou no anta wo. True you
jikan ga tatsu ni tsurete, itami de, mask wo nuide,
mata no wo mitsukete
mata no wo
mata no wo
mask ga kowaretakara, tokubetsunin wo oshinokete
itami de, kowareta mask de, nigedashite.
asa ni, okite, okite
Go through routines so familiar, so comforting
sekai e mukou mae ni, saki no"mask" wo kazukete
kowareta, kudakareta, sloppily fixed
hibi no reiten wo shikakete mite-
Walking, riding, learning, crying, teaching, crying, yelling, screaming
crying, laughing, eating, walking, riding, crying. Resting. Resting.
kurushimeta nemuri.
tokubetsu no hito ga kaette kite,
yougu wo motte, ryouchi yougu wo
tokubetsunin, yasashiku mask wo nugasete
sarawareta. jiyuu na.
Freedom.

~The song without a melody.

Tsuki

So, Life has happened.

I am selling bracelets!

Suddenly inspired

Because happy, that's why.

I miss you

New tattoo!

Tattoo Blog

I will draw this later...

Happy

Quotable Quotes

Areallie.blog.com

Senior Year is almost over

Commence the Count-down

Ahhhhhhhhh

As a soon-to-be College Student

Death

10 things

Hmmm..Colleges, Colleges.

formspring.me

formspring.me

Sometimes

formspring.me

Ahhh

Art dump? YES AGAIN!

ART DUMP? WHY YES.

I'm Quite Possibly THE biggest dork :D

Last post: June 1, 2009

A day with Jillian.

I have this uncontrollable craving

Isn't it a fun feeling

EYE TUTORIAL

I've been flooding my wall

I'm trying something new :)

You ought to go

In light of recent events

I'm suddenly very upset with myself

I must have missed a memo

To err is human

My store

As most of you know..

Oh, and

Hello all

Me, sans brushing

Just a little blurb

I want to

I wish I got my freewriting back...

Movie Review: Ameture Hour. [The Changeling]

I wish I wasn't a teenager.

Life is hard sometimes

A Note to My Friends

I've nothing to write about

Who knew?

Sort of photo happy lately...

The new fake 'do :)

*THUD*

One of those "I miss my old self, even though I hated it" posts

Buildings

Mobile posting

I'm not sure what to write about anymore

Yun has arrived

Is anyone else

Dreams

This is more for my benefit

Booya

Mama Mia (spoilers)

I've begun a sort of comic...

Musings....

Is it not depressing to realize

Sort of shifting some stuff...

I have come to realize

A new song? I think not.

Inferiority Complex

Hello...

One day I'll put this to music...

A song? Or perhaps a poem?

A conversation I had once...

Kou Kou (African Folklore, with a Mandi-twist)

Just so you know...

A blog to the boozers

THUD