Monday, February 15, 2010


I feel invisible. Which is a horrible feeling, you know?
The kind where people sit on you because they "didn't see you there," or look directly at you, but are actually staring at that poster behind your head, and they didn't realize they were looking in your direction?
And I've had these boughts of invisibility here and there, generally on days where I feel useless or tired. But when I'm wide awake, talking, able and willing... that's when it's weird. That's when it sticks out.
Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you I don't shut up. Seriously. I'm the world's biggest blabbermouth. I will talk people into a stupor if they let me (but they generally won't let me). So when I'm talking, I don't expect you to pay attention to the crap pouring out of my mouth (that's what most of it is, anyway), but I do expect you to acknowledge my existence. Please?

Another self-absorbed issue I will now share with you, my loving anon: I've a crush and I've no clue what to do with it.
It's been a very long time since I've liked a guy and he didn't immediately proclaim he likes me back and promptly asks me to go out with him (to which I say yes). Albeit, I've never had such a problem with guys I seriously do -not- like (in that way) liking me, and continually (awkwardly) hitting on me. But, alas... I like a guy. I've actually had a dream about this guy (whoa, what?) and I'm pretty positive he doesn't like me back.
As a girl who's never had this issue, what the heck am I supposed to do?
Pine silently? Embarrass myself and ask him out (knowing he'll say no)? Or... wait?

Also, mom says "pickle pickle!"

In a bit of an art-block. I want to draw, I really do; but after seeing my "artwork" in the form of real-life paints (acrylic) I'm utterly dissatisfied with my inability to do anything artistic outside of a computer. I want to practice on paper... I want to... I want...
Jesus, I'm self-centered.
No wonder I piss off people after knowing them so long...
I guess that's what a blog is for though, right?
Talking about one's self to an anonymous audience that may or may not care (read: not) about what the heck it is I'm babbling about now.
I need food.
I need someone to tell me I'm not pointless who isn't a concerned friend (read: a boyfriend).

If you're writing an essay and your teacher says "put your voice into it," don't put in cute phrases like "Read: [blankety blank-blank]". You'll get points knocked off for that. And a lovely red-inked note saying "Don't demand your reader to do anything. That's off-putting."
If I could, I would have added in a lovely green-inked response "Screw you."


Thursday, February 11, 2010


First time in (what was it?) thirty-something years to snow six inches in Texas.
Ninja was played far too frequently today, but that game is addicting so no one really cares. ;)
Stupid crushes are stupid, but for some reason I can't let this one go.
Humans' teeth are built to grind/tear through meat for a reason, so stop hounding me about enjoying my fear-filled meal (those who've seen August Osage County ought to get this one).
Only Mia knows the extent, but everyone'll find out anyway...but will [insert name here] figure it out? (Answer: Probably. I'm not good at being inconspicuous)
Had a dream about the school. Dancing in the costume shop was involved, as well as all the mimes. Other things were involved, of course, but I'm too lazy to type it out.
I'm downloading a song titled "Don't Download This Song." I am giggling to myself at the irony.
Rarely do I feel like I'm invisible (I talk far too much for that to be very possible), but when it happens... it sucks.
Joseph Conrad: I enjoy your books, but why do you have to be so long-winded? To prove you know how to write? Silly man, we all know you can!
Louisa May Alcott: Why was I so anti-"reading Little Women"?
Perhaps it was the bible that did the trick... You know, the one that hit me upside the head when I tried to check out that book? Yeah. That bible.
Anyway, it's been seven years since my last attempt, and I'm enjoying your book now :D
Ira Levin: Your book has motivated so much. An entire mime was written based off of your book (This Perfect Day), and it is what really, truly inspired my light design for said mime. Hearts!
Mia Antoinette Crowe: You understand me so well, it's actually scary. But I don't care. I'd rather accidentally get lost driving around with you than driving home alone any day. :)
Elizabeth Berkman: Mia and I were talking about how we envy you. You're brilliant, gorgeous and super talented. We don't know how you do it, but I love you :D
Amy Zapien: If you cut off all your hair, we must go man-hunting... and eat cake! And then we all will have a HUGE slumberparty or something! Yes!
Booker T: I've never not wanted to miss a day of school so much until today. Seriously. Snow day? People who live two hours north of us handle snow better! Blughbughbugh
HOWEVER, I guess I can't complain too much--sleeping in is something I have yet to experience this week, and I'd like to get a head start on it tomorrow! BUT WHY DID YOU CANCEL UTOPIA?!
I will seriously punch the next person who says "totes" to me. Or "jels," "lohl," "Burrb," "b-f-f," or any other stupidly abbreviated words to me. Seriously. Speak. English.