Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sometimes, going to an Arts Magnet can really eat away at your self-esteem
And I end up hating how I am constantly being surrounded by so much talent.
Because I end up feeling inferior...
I write something with the knowledge that Maddie could have worded such-and-such much better.
I sing something knowing I could be outsung in a heartbeat by the kid who sits next to me in APUSH.
I sew something knowing that both Andi and Lakyn would subconsciously view it with slight distaste at my lack of skill.
I play something knowing Davis could kick my butt at it.
I memorize a monologue knowing that John could own me.
I dance knowing that Zaikyyah could perform with much more grace.
I photograph something knowing Zark or Hiratai could have figured out a much better angle to set off the setting sun.
But I'll keep trying...practicing...attempting
It just sucks. I feel inferior.
I'm going to be moving a few posts over from an old blogging website, so this is technically my first-ever Blogger post....Though the other blog-dates say otherwise, kay?
I'm Tsuki-Mandi, and I'm a thesbian. (All: Hello, Tsuki)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Weather I'll sing it or not is a completely different story.
The soundtrack in my mind
Ever playing, constant loops
There's a glitch..
Sometimes, the music flips
And intertwines the chords a bit
Making two, even three songs into one
One big, glitchy song
Of Beatles and Raindrops and Death Cab and ...music
Music takes me away
To a place I didn't know was there
Until I found it (Well, duh)
You see, I'm a cynical person
Overly analytical of everything I do
I think I screwed up somewhere...
not sure where though.
I want a parrot...not really.
I wish I could put some of my funny moments...
into a giant webcomic. But alas,
I've no talent.
Though talentless people can make webcomics too, I guess.
I'd try...but no wacom, no scanner...
I'm making up excuses now.
The soundtrack of my--wait, I've done that.
You see, there's a glitch in me
it makes me cynical
and intertwines the chords a bit
not sure where though
To a place I didn't know was there
I'd try...but no wacom, no scanner
I think I screwed up somewhere
..intertwining the music a bit into..
a giant webcomic.
I'm making up excuses now, I suppose
But you see, there's a glitch in me.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Stiff in movement, rough to the touch
Steel pipe for bone, cable wires for muscles
Feet drag, no lift, knees don't work
hands lie, not limp, but motionless
Head still, no movement, not even muscle twitch
for cables do not twitch
Look forward, no perefials, almost blind
Listen not, no recognition, nearly deaf
No thought, only to breathe
Smell nothing, senses refuse to work
Salivation impossible, a disease?
Heart pumping, but not emotionally
checked out, no returns, gone for lunch...permanently
Emotions dead, no love
no hate, no grief, no thanks
stiff in movement, rough to the touch
checked out, no returns
no love, no hate
I haven't decided what category this should go into...Hmm
Saturday, November 22, 2008
"I really hate how much our school has changed thanks to the budget and yet every time I express that, someone feels the need to call me an idiot"
"You're not an idiot, it's true. And as much as I disliked W, this new woman is changing a lot of what made our school special."
"Exactly, it sucks balls and all these people are like, 'just cos we're an arts school doesn't make us special' and that's exactly why we're special."
"Agreed. Most newniors, sophomores and freshmen can't grasp that reality, it seems"
"Even the small stuff like eating in class or having lunch anywhere in the building. People
don't seem to realize that contributed to our originality as a whole."
"Exactly. And our 'phone zones'"
"Yes! I couldn't've been the only one pissed when those disappeared. What's next? Hat day?"
"Or hallway-bound scene practicces? 'too loud' pssh"
"Or even cutting fabric in the hall. It was a bigger deal at Nolan Estes but still"
"We've much more space here, obviously. Thank the Lord some of the stronger teachers rebel by letting us eat or use our cells or listen to music during huge lulls in class"
"Yeah. But it sucks that some abide by the rules so closely, and that the rules are even there."
"Moreso that they're even there."
"Yeah. And I don't understand why people just don't get how much it sucks. It's almost opressive"
"The real irksome part is the fact that her "student-meetings" in the mornings have resulted in MORE rules while we continually protest for less"
"She only started that so she could at like we had a say. She's a bit of a dictator."
"She really is."
"She's treating us like any other school. And people say it's because of the budget. Our budget is bigger than most schools."
"Twice as much"