So, Life has happened.

Since my last post, anyway.

I've had a semi-long relationship that ended poorly. A much shorter relationship that ended worse. A few lovely flings, and heaps of low self esteem. A new friend. A best friend. A new job which was fantastic, then shitty, then quit. And then another job which has just begun. New responsibilities. New outlook on life. New outlook on relationships. A few bad decisions. A few good ones. One amazing one.
I've drawn...a lot. And tumblr'd. I've used and lost photoshop. I've dabbled in computer-fiddling. I've had a falling-out. A falling-in. A rough patch at home. A re-connection with my mother. I've sung. I've sung a lot. I've new friends. I've old friends. I've rediscovered the magic that is The Doctor (to a fault).
I've decided what I'm doing with my life.
I will be in the Air Force.
I am an American Airman.
I am a Warrior.
I have answered my nation's call.


loltextit.

Because happy, that's why.

You make me happy.



That is all.





34.
155 (give or take).
Forever.

I miss you

So much.

I want to rewind the clock.

Go back a few weeks.

Relive the 16th-18th of October

It's only been 20 days.

Why does it feel like it's been so much longer?

BecauseIloveyou,that'swhy.

BecauseIneedyou.

At least we have googletalk and Heywire, right?

And facebook and videos?

Technology isn't all that bad, is it?

It's my savior right now.

It will continue to be until you come back.

Come back.

New tattoo!

Completed!

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, which is nice.

But it definitely huuurrtt.

Luckily I had a couple of really awesome friends there who made it a lot more bearable.

Also, Ice cream afterwards didn't hurt anyone XD

So, I made an FB album of the process.

Here ya go!

For the curious few:

When I say it hurt, imagine a bunch of tiny rubberbands slapping you. Many, many times.

You know how it burns and stings more as you progress? Yeah.

And the closer to the tender part of my chest (the bottom of the last hirigana and the closing quotation (looks like a bracket) mark felt like a legitimate burn.

My tip? Talking helped me. I talked quickly and without breathing (XD) about fish and colorful things and stupid professors and anything my Roommate, friend and I could think of. Eventually all we were saying is "ICE CREAM SOON." "It's almost done!" "Omigod really?"

It helped distract me from the pain.

Also, I squeezed the crap out of my roomie's hand. (Thanks, Ange!) :D

Tattoo Blog

A few years ago (maybe 4?) I decided that I wanted a tattoo.

I had an idea of what I wanted (ganbatte or ganbare in hiragana), but I had no idea when I would get it, how I wanted it to look or where I would want it.

Last year I began thinking about getting it on my wrist...it'd be visible, and easy to hide under long-sleeved things or thick wristbands.

I decided that's tacky a year later.

Having finally turned 18, I've decided it's high time I get this tattoo I've wanted since...freshman year in high school.

SO, come August, I began my more intense research.

I looked up how-tos on aftercare, I watched videos, I searched and asked questions on tattooing forums, I asked tattoo'd friends questions about the process, the aftermath and how they feel about their tattoos. I set a place I want the tattoo. I designed my tatttoo. I looked up portfolios of local artists, I asked more friends about said artists. I visited parlours; I scheduled a meeting with the artist I wanted. I looked at pictures of nasty, nasty infections. I looked at pictures of old people with tattoos. I looked up screwed up tattoos. I looked up femme tattoos; I looked up step-by-step guides for the process and aftercare. I looked up accounts from other first-time tattooers.

So. Every day I'm going to post about the process and what's happening to me/my tattoo.

Day one: 7 hours until tattoo.

I will draw this later...

"Hello, Ali Baba Grill."

"Hello, is this the Ali Baba Grill?"

"Yes."

"Do you do buffet?"

"Yes, our buffet is from 11-3."

"And what time is your buffet?"

"From 11-3 Sunday through Friday."

"Okay so your buffet is 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Do you have buffet Sunday?"

"Yes."

"From 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Okay, thank you, bye-bye."

"Bye."

*facepalm*

Happy

Goodness, I'm happy.

I've a good job, great coworkers, an awesome guy...

I've surpassed my monetary goal for the summer...

I've managed to go out most days after work (though never very far) with my local friends, I've been able to see mom on some of my days off, and I'm finally getting to know Irving.

I mean, sure, there are things I'd like to do better, or have more time for, but overall.... I'm pretty darned happy.

Estoy contento con mi vida, ahora :)

(^Definitely guessed at the phrasing. Is that correct at all?)

Areallie.blog.com

This is my best friend's blog.

She posted something about having her wants and needs cross paths...I responded

"You want to live, yes? And breathing is necessary for living. You -need- to breathe.
They’ve crossed paths, honey.
I’m sure this hit you because we’re out of high school. Our wants are rationalized now. We can’t want everything anymore. It’s irresponsible, it’s impossible and it’s disappointing. Now we’ve both reached a stage in our life that requires us to decide if we really need something, including needing to want something."

I felt it was something I should share.
Also, go check out her blog.

www.areallie.blog.com

She's a gifted writer.

Senior Year is almost over

Thespian Induction, Prom and Sign-out sheets all point to one thing: The end of Senior Year.

It's an exciting time.
I'm ready to move on to the next step in life-to go to college.
But, I'm nervous and I will miss everyone OH SO MUCH.

Anyway.
Boring blogpost over.

As a soon-to-be College Student

I'm pretty darned stoked.

And I feel it's high-time I show some spirit for my new school: University of North Texas!

Now, for all of you who don't know what the CLAW OF DOOM is, I will now walk you through it, step-by-step.

FIRST: Put your right hand in the air and make a fist!

NEXT: Make a peace sign using your middle and pointer fingers

THEN: Throw your thumb out, like you're a small german child counting to "three"

FINALLY: Slightly curve your fingers inward, making a claw!

YOUR HAND SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS:

Anyway, go Eagles!

Death

Death is a scary thing.

However, it's not necessarily the "dying" part that scares me.

It's the finality of it.

The fact that, after that last breath, nothing will come after it.

Nothing is in your control anymore, and people will move on.

Without You.

I don't think people are afraid of death. Not really, anyway.

People are afraid of losing control.

Losing the ability to foresee and follow through.

Once you've died, that's it.

There's no more.

The world you've created is literally out of your hands.

And that is a scary thought.

Thanks, Death of a Salesman.

10 things

Gloomyunderwoods on Deviant Art posted this new meme "Childhood beliefs" where you write down 10 things you used to believe as a child.
Hopefully tomorrow or sometime soon I'll illustrate these and post them too :)
I have some cute ideas for them!

Anyway here they are:
---
1. I could "scare" traffic lights into changing to green
2. It was possible to grow up to be an animal of some sort (usually a feline).
3. If it was darker in a specific spot than the surrounding area, there was a portal to a seperate dimension hidden there, and if you get too close you'll get pulled in. This portal showed up in my shower during hide-and-seek a LOT.
4. If I closed my eyes, crossed my legs and concentrated hard enough, I could float up/down the stairs.
5. 16 was the absolute best age EVAR. You could drive, were pretty, were in high school and had a boyfriend. Basically, you're a mini-adult PLUS all the fun!
6. All my dolls, stuffed animals and toys would "come to life" when I was not looking, or wasn't around. And if I abused them, they would become sad and despondent.
7. God had a little camera installed in each room, and in the trees outside so he could see you on one of those massive security-camera-screen things you see in the movies.
8. My mom had magic-hands. Once, my leg was absolutely COVERED in ants, and she swiped down my leg, and all the ants disappeared.
9. If you cut a sandwich into triangles, as opposed to squares, the sandwich will taste better.
10. Barney was real. I saw a Barney concert, and though I could see where his head, hands and feet met the main part of his costume, I couldn't find a zipper. I assumed he was wearing protective gear that looked exactly like his hands/feet/head to keep him from getting sick or hurt or something. But...no zipper=real.

Hmmm..Colleges, Colleges.

I've been accepted to:

Drexel

Kings College

Stephens College

I've been rejected from:

University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music (CCM)

I'm still awaiting letters from:

Ithaca College

NYU ~ Tisch

Southern Methodist University.

AHHSOSTRESSED.

Ahhh

First time in (what was it?) thirty-something years to snow six inches in Texas.

SIX INCHES!

---

Ninja was played far too frequently today, but that game is addicting so no one really cares. ;)

---

Stupid crushes are stupid, but for some reason I can't let this one go.

---

Humans' teeth are built to grind/tear through meat for a reason, so stop hounding me about enjoying my fear-filled meal (those who've seen August Osage County ought to get this one).

---

Only Mia knows the extent, but everyone'll find out anyway...but will [insert name here] figure it out? (Answer: Probably. I'm not good at being inconspicuous)

---

Had a dream about the school. Dancing in the costume shop was involved, as well as all the mimes. Other things were involved, of course, but I'm too lazy to type it out.

---

I'm downloading a song titled "Don't Download This Song." I am giggling to myself at the irony.

---

Rarely do I feel like I'm invisible (I talk far too much for that to be very possible), but when it happens... it sucks.

---

Joseph Conrad: I enjoy your books, but why do you have to be so long-winded? To prove you know how to write? Silly man, we all know you can!

---

Louisa May Alcott: Why was I so anti-"reading Little Women"?

Perhaps it was the bible that did the trick... You know, the one that hit me upside the head when I tried to check out that book? Yeah. That bible.

Anyway, it's been seven years since my last attempt, and I'm enjoying your book now :D

---

Ira Levin: Your book has motivated so much. An entire mime was written based off of your book (This Perfect Day), and it is what really, truly inspired my light design for said mime. Hearts!

---

Mia Antoinette Crowe: You understand me so well, it's actually scary. But I don't care. I'd rather accidentally get lost driving around with you than driving home alone any day. :)

---

Elizabeth Berkman: Mia and I were talking about how we envy you. You're brilliant, gorgeous and super talented. We don't know how you do it, but I love you :D

---

Amy Zapien: If you cut off all your hair, we must go man-hunting... and eat cake! And then we all will have a HUGE slumberparty or something! Yes!

---

Booker T: I've never not wanted to miss a day of school so much until today. Seriously. Snow day? People who live two hours north of us handle snow better! Blughbughbugh

HOWEVER, I guess I can't complain too much--sleeping in is something I have yet to experience this week, and I'd like to get a head start on it tomorrow! BUT WHY DID YOU CANCEL UTOPIA?!

---

I will seriously punch the next person who says "totes" to me. Or "jels," "lohl," "Burrb," "b-f-f," or any other stupidly abbreviated words to me. Seriously. Speak. English.

I'm Quite Possibly THE biggest dork :D

I love my new bamboo pen tablet. And my new eensy computer. And my nifty gps (Named Winifred..She's Bridget's long-lost cousin ;p), and all the cute clothes and the nifty purse and the cool (like, seriously) calendar thing. Awesome Christmas. For realsies.

AND
With my new Tablet and my eensy computer, I have been making ARTS!
So, I will share!
And if you have a Deviant Art, click this link and follow me, or at least leave me comments XD
Here's a rough sketch of Bou (the finished is through that link I mentioned earlier. XD

So...yeah :)
Checkitout!

Last post: June 1, 2009

Wow.

Like, pure...'wow.'

A little over six months ago, I posted on this poor, neglected blog...

Although,

A little over six months ago, I still had an inkling of a life (haha).

And a little under six months ago, I experienced the absolute best summer of my life at Perry-Mansfield. I was surrounded by so much creativity--so much talent--I remembered why I wanted to be an actress in the first place. No kiddin'

So, what's up?

Hmm, so where to begin?

Senior year~That sounds about right.

Senior year started a day before my birthday, and it was busy from the get-go.

I was thrown head-first into the tech-world of theatre; I joined the school's Light Brigade (Advanced Lighting-we design, hang, strike and basically control all aspects of light in pretty much every show that is put up within our school building's walls....that's over 35 performances-not including the senior-run productions). I also discovered I was out-of-shape thanks to a birthday-whoopin' in African Dance. (But I got my mojo back, no worries!)

I also did an out-of-school production of Calamity Jane at Rockwall Community Playhouse-that was a fun adventure...I got my first Choreographer credit!!

I also have an internship at the Dallas Theatre Center through our audition-only class "Advanced Acting" taught by Lisa Holland and Kevin Moriarity (

And, to top it off, I've joined the Mock Trial team (again, I know ;p) and have thus given up all chances of having a life for my lovely senior year.

How do I do it all? (Lol, I'm not that self-centered)

Let's see, I'll outline a daily schedule (if my description didn't get you a-quakin' in your boots)

Monday: Arrive at school around 7:45 to begin Senior Direct (10 minute plays) with the lovely Elizabeth. I'm performing as "Jordan" in Lakyn Carlton's Addict. School from 8:55-4:10. 4:30-6:30 is African Dance Ensemble. After 6:30, it's either an hour-drive home, or off to my internship at DTC.

Tuesday: Rinse and repeat, skipping the final two steps. Add a healthy dose of Mock Trial meeting until 6:30, follow with intern hours or home. Optional: Tuesday-morning Production Meeting regarding Utopia (will explain later)

Wednesday: Substitute "Senior Direct" with "Mock Trial" early morning, repeat. Replace after-school Mock Trial with African Dance, finish per usual.

Thursday: Follow Tuesday's schedule, "optional" is not available.

Friday: Repeat Wednesday morning to afternoon schedule. After-school is replaced with home or intern hours.

Saturday: 2-6/10-3/whatever-Mock Trial

Sunday: FREEDOM?!?! (A. No.)

Where does homework fit in all of this?

Who knows XD

What's coming up:

Utopia is the school's Mime production for the spring. The reason I'm attending production meetings is because (drum roll please!) I am the light designer!

I know, all of you are thinking "Woo...mimes?" But this is a serious leap in difficulty. Cues are based off of motions and entrance/exits, rather than lines. Also, there's no 'script' for me to write the cues in...I literally watch and go..."Hmm, this should change? Okay....*figures out* BAM!" Also, for a person who is currently taking her first Beginning Lights and Sound class (along side her Advanced Lighting class-a happy mistake), this is a pretty big leap. Usually it takes a year (or at least a full semester) before students are designing shows. Yay! (Totally selfish sounding...but, give me a break!)

Addict is a ten-minute play written by fellow senior, Lakyn Carlton, and directed by Elizabeth Berkman (also a senior).

Rehearsals are bound only to morning rehearsals (which is craaazy!), but luckily we got the show with three characters (not to mention it's really naturalistic and well- written..Thanks Lakyn!), so we may all need to be together for every rehearsal, but we also have less people to coordinate with :D Sadly, this is the last week of rehearsals as we are opening Thursday (5 o'clock, Friday at 7). BUT that also means I will be able to sleep in until about 7:15 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Mock Trial

Mock trial is just now slipping into high gear, since the competition is looming SO CLOSE (we can almost taste it). This year's case is a little goofy, and very unbalanced...but I have faith in our team! (Once we get around stupid drama, we'll be even better!) Huzzah!

Sadly, Mock Trial has been dictating three of my week-days and one of the weekend-days. And once we get to winter break (Next Friday) we'll be having a BUNCH of rehearsals during weekdays which means...bye bye break!

School

School is getting randomly difficult (what happened to cruising through Senior year?!)

With Psychology AP, Economics AP, English IV AP, and French II I honestly don't get a day devoid of some type of homework. Be it an outline of a chapter, new flash-cards, a packet, vocabulary, ORB's, essays and research....NO TIEM FOR MES ><

College

Happily, I can say that all I need to do to finish my applications is to send in my Transcripts (and a couple of teacher recommendations), and I'm pretty much done applying. I've auditioned for a few that I'm interested in,and the remaining few will be finished during Chicago Unifieds (catch me there, yo!) Glad to say I've finished coughing up

upwards of $200 in application fees and audition scheduling fees. (Not including $300 on plane tickets--HIGHWAY ROBBERY, GUYS--and the $40 [after roomie-split] for hotel). blughubluglubhlughubuhug....><

So what will you do now?

Survive, I guess?

Haha, don't get me wrong.

I LOVE being busy. Absolutely Love lOve loVe lovE LOVE being busy. I mean, shoot. How many of these things did I volunteer myself for? (A. Almost all of them). My only complaint?

While everyone else is getting swine-flu, my body is going 300 miles a minute to keep me afloat. While that keeps me out of the doctor's office, that does keep me underslept and running on Empty a majority of the time. Not to mention the HORRID crash I experience on those few days of freedom (i.e. sleep). For example, I missed school this morning because my body quit on me once it heard that my Production Meeting and Senior-Direct rehearsals were canceled the night before. I woke up with an ache-y tummy, a headache and a serious case of sleep-deprived-blues.

Who do I love?

Mr. Gavitt for teaching me all the stuff I needed to know about light programming and hanging in the first two weeks of school.

Rena for being an awesome partner.

Toni for being a great mentor.

Elizabeth for being so patient with my idiotic schedule.

DTC for allowing me to have flexible hours.

My scene-partners for working with my schedule also.

All of my lunch buddies for letting me vent my frustrations to you.

Sara for being there ALWAYS.

Mia for being my sista' from another mista'.

Showcase for teaching me the absolute necessity of time management.

EVERYONE for being so positive and pushing/encouraging me to NOT die in the early months of senior year.

At least for Arts Kids, whoever said Senior Year was a breeze was lying to you.

Manage time now. Be involved now. Listen to your 'elders,' since we're the ones going through it RIGHT. NOW. It'll pay off in the end.

Also, if you're considering Unifieds next year, put your money aside now...every extra dollar or bit of loose change will definitely help you, since undoubtedly the prices will rise (since they have been every day) and once you find a good deal TOTALLY GO FOR IT. It will raise. I swears to you!!! O>O;

Anyway.

I hope that caught you up!

So, recap:

I'm way too busy for my own good.

It's almost all voluntary (silly me).

I definitely want to do this for a living.

I love my friends :3

LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS!

:D

YAY!

Love,

Tsuki Smith

(ps. I need to update my profile photo. I definitely have long, brown-red hair ;3)

A day with Jillian.

"How do you spell Spencer?"

Spell it out.

"Okay..."

Spencer.

"S...?"

SPUH-EN-CER

"Sr?"

PUH. PUH. PUH.

"Sp...r?"

SPUH- EH-EH-EH-EH-N-CER

"Spe...r?"

SPUH-EN-NUH-NUH-NUH-CER

"Specr"

No, there's an N.

"Specr?"

No, there's an N!

"What?"

AN EN.

NUH-NUH--YES! Guh.

"Spensr?"

No, you had the ending right at first.

"Huh?"

No, you had the ending RIGHT at first.

"Spencr?"

No, you need an E before the R.

"What?"

ER.

"Spencr?"

ER.

"R?"

What makes the "ER" sound?

"R?"

But what comes before the R?

"R?"

No....what came before the R the first time you wrote it?

"E?"

Yeah. E-R. ER.

"Okay, so it's Specern?"

GUH!!!!

*facepalm*

--Thus is the life of babysitting a child who refused to read until this year, because she had to for school.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Of course, this week hasn't been totally horrible.

I mean, we've had fun.
She just got me in a horrible mood this morning because she woke me up after a nightmare...toooo eaarrrlllyyy

Anyway.

Monday: Made finger puppets, lots of activities, 1.5 hours of "school" :O

Tuesday: Made a sun, which is currently on the fridge, more "school"

Wednesday: Made a fan, more encouragement to play by herself

Today: We're going to make bunny ears, and play on the excersize machine and....hopefully more solitary activities for herrrr.

Tomorrow: NO IDEA. DEATH?

I've been flooding my wall

On facebook with utterly nonsensical prattle to anyone who is not here with me now.

I'm reading a manga that I found a year or so ago (I can't afford to buy the manga often and I discovered it is online!) called Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (Otherwise known as Wallflower or Perfect Girl Evolution). The translater changed out around volume 8, and this new translator makes lots of little notes on the side including translation for the sfx (the little words that are not part of diologue but are, instead an action-sound). I've discovered that I can read a good deal of the sfx without help, but the ones that I don't recognize I look at the side-note, and then figure out what each symbol stands for by double-checking in my NJStar Japanese Word Processor. (i.e. Hiya-- was double-checked because I did not remember what the symbol for "hi" was...it looked like the symbol for pi, so I tested that out, and then I typed in 'bi' and 'hi' to figure out which one it was, as they share the base symbol). Anyway, I've been getting confused on a few including (but not limited to) the not-translated mayaun...ma ya u n was how it was written out--big spaces between the letters--, moya meaning "don't look" and what have you.

I'm sort of proud of my sudden ability to actually recognize the hiragana and only having to 'test' my knowledge on what the characters are every few sfx's.

I'm not sure if this was a bragging post or an apologetic post, so I'll make it both.

I'm sorry that I've flooded your walls with my prattle ;)

I'm proud that I can read a little!

:D

You ought to go

and check this out.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=A0C0E6F9

When you get the site, enter the 4-letter captcha thing and click "DOWNLOAD"
to hear my-and-Dalia's poem about a hard time in her life.
This was for a project for Comp, which I'm not a part of.
I did, however write most of it and read/record/mix it.
The background music is from Everything Is Illuminated
:)

In light of recent events

My school district is undergoing some serious budget cuts and is about to make one of the worst mistakes they could possibly make.

I typed this in response to a comment on an article about the magnet schools being gutted (and reduced--that's a bit harsh of a word--to being a regular public school). The article suggested that we were to cut down faculty to an ungodly low number (absolutely impossible to achieve) and many of the responses were, to say the least, a bit brutal. Many attacked the new principal (who, in all my years as a student, has been the most involved, caring, and dedicated principal I've ever met), attacked the new cluster head (which was a bunch of baloney) for Theatre, and even the students. Many generalized to the point of excessive simplicity, stating we were all "pampered," "middle class" and "straight out of Plano and Highland Park" suggesting we all have money to burn, and thus are being treated much too well compared to other schools. Though I could get into a tangent about how these statements are so far from true it hurts, I thought I'd share my comment posted on the blog.
(This opening is a response to a commenter who felt that out-of-district kids were 'taking DISD's money' and that their attending on a tuition-free basis was unfair to in-district students)

"As an out-of-district student, I do not feel it is unfair to in-district students for us to attend a school where we can have access to the highest education available. On average, the out-of-district student is rejected in favor of an in-district student. (example: I was placed on the waiting list for BTW the summer before my freshman year to make way for in-district kids.)
Please do not assume that schools like BTW deny out-of-district kids to get more money...in fact the state money for the student is sent to their home school no matter how you view it, so how is BTW gaining anything from either 'type' of student?

I also regret that so many people are misinformed of BTW's faculty quality (which surpasses supreme) and the absolute blessing the new principal has been. It's a shame that many do not view arts as a career-oriented school but as an ego-blower (which, I daresay it is not). The environment of the school does nothing but motivate students to do their best and achieve their dreams. I, for one, will be (willingly) balancing 6AP courses with my cluster classes (which are both intillectually stimulating and character building, as well as educational) my SENIOR year! How often do you find a motivated senior at ANY high school (be it Magnet or Otherwise) thanks to the nurturing environment provided at their school?

Perhaps it takes 4 years of "not fitting in" and 5 years of teasing and being pelted by pizza to fully appreciate the community BTW and the growing Arts district have built. I, for one, have never felt so motivated, encouraged and accepted as I have in my 3 years of attending BTW."