Monday, February 15, 2010


I feel invisible. Which is a horrible feeling, you know?
The kind where people sit on you because they "didn't see you there," or look directly at you, but are actually staring at that poster behind your head, and they didn't realize they were looking in your direction?
And I've had these boughts of invisibility here and there, generally on days where I feel useless or tired. But when I'm wide awake, talking, able and willing... that's when it's weird. That's when it sticks out.
Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you I don't shut up. Seriously. I'm the world's biggest blabbermouth. I will talk people into a stupor if they let me (but they generally won't let me). So when I'm talking, I don't expect you to pay attention to the crap pouring out of my mouth (that's what most of it is, anyway), but I do expect you to acknowledge my existence. Please?

Another self-absorbed issue I will now share with you, my loving anon: I've a crush and I've no clue what to do with it.
It's been a very long time since I've liked a guy and he didn't immediately proclaim he likes me back and promptly asks me to go out with him (to which I say yes). Albeit, I've never had such a problem with guys I seriously do -not- like (in that way) liking me, and continually (awkwardly) hitting on me. But, alas... I like a guy. I've actually had a dream about this guy (whoa, what?) and I'm pretty positive he doesn't like me back.
As a girl who's never had this issue, what the heck am I supposed to do?
Pine silently? Embarrass myself and ask him out (knowing he'll say no)? Or... wait?

Also, mom says "pickle pickle!"

In a bit of an art-block. I want to draw, I really do; but after seeing my "artwork" in the form of real-life paints (acrylic) I'm utterly dissatisfied with my inability to do anything artistic outside of a computer. I want to practice on paper... I want to... I want...
Jesus, I'm self-centered.
No wonder I piss off people after knowing them so long...
I guess that's what a blog is for though, right?
Talking about one's self to an anonymous audience that may or may not care (read: not) about what the heck it is I'm babbling about now.
I need food.
I need someone to tell me I'm not pointless who isn't a concerned friend (read: a boyfriend).

If you're writing an essay and your teacher says "put your voice into it," don't put in cute phrases like "Read: [blankety blank-blank]". You'll get points knocked off for that. And a lovely red-inked note saying "Don't demand your reader to do anything. That's off-putting."
If I could, I would have added in a lovely green-inked response "Screw you."


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