Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Life is hard sometimes

But in the end, I feel refreshed.

I've just put a relationship that has been causing me so much pain in the recent past up on a shelf for a while.
Many of my friends are "proud" that I've recognized that this "mess of an affair" is what it is, and that I've chosen to end it--at least temporarily.

It's depressing, though.
The fact that they've been trying so hard to make me happy...
and the fact that I've done nothing but shrug their advice off..
and the fact that he refused to do anything about it besides mumble "I'm sorry..."
and the fact that everyone's secretly been rooting for me to do this anyways?
A bit saddening.
But that's okay.
Because I'm refreshed.
I'm single.
And I'm giving him a second chance in a few months....maybe?
I don't know.

At least I don't constantly feel guilty anymore. And I don't hate myself for putting up with...stuff I oughtn't to have been putting up with in the first place.

I'll be fine.


Anonymous said...

I really am proud, and I understand why it took you so long to do this. Relationships can blind you sometimes. I just hope you can hold out. Once he actually does what he promised to do, then sure, go for it. But nobody deserves to torture themselves by putting up with that sort of bullshit.

I love you.

Tsuki said...

Thank you. I love you too, Maddie.
Honestly? I don't think he and I will ever get back together. My trust for him, as a boyfriend anyway, has been utterly shattered. :/
Ah well.
There's more fish in the sea, ne?
Anyway, thanks.
*Epic hug complete with two f's*