But in the end, I feel refreshed.
I've just put a relationship that has been causing me so much pain in the recent past up on a shelf for a while.
Many of my friends are "proud" that I've recognized that this "mess of an affair" is what it is, and that I've chosen to end it--at least temporarily.
It's depressing, though.
The fact that they've been trying so hard to make me happy...
and the fact that I've done nothing but shrug their advice off..
and the fact that he refused to do anything about it besides mumble "I'm sorry..."
and the fact that everyone's secretly been rooting for me to do this anyways?
A bit saddening.
But that's okay.
Because I'm refreshed.
And I'm giving him a second chance in a few months....maybe?
I don't know.
At least I don't constantly feel guilty anymore. And I don't hate myself for putting up with...stuff I oughtn't to have been putting up with in the first place.
I'll be fine.