Sunday, June 7, 2009

Isn't it a fun feeling

When you realize that you and your best friend of nearly four years are drifting apart?
No, it doesn't hurt as much as the day you realized your best friend of 8 years has moved on.
Nor does it hurt as much as the realization that you aren't as cracked up as you thought you were.
No. But it still hurts.
A lot.
I love that she's having fun.
And I love that she has friends other than me...but as the days dwindle by, I've discovered that my 'friendship-circle' can I put I've got her...and the people I know through her. And then the few that I know outside of her--the Entertainers and con-kids.
But I haven't gotten the satisfaction of friendship out of most of those kids. I love them, yes. But we will never stay up until 3 am, eating ramen and playing the world's longest game of Mario Carnival (god, 50 rounds was wayyy too long).
I miss that.
I miss us.
And when I see that you've been out having fun with the people I thought of as friends, too...when I wasn't invited...when I'm being "pushed out," as one slightly psycho child said last year ;)
Yeah, it hurts.
I s'pose I'll have to stand on my own two feet now.
I'll make some more friends.
But I don't think I can share the bond we've forged with anyone else...not for a while.
Not until I have another identity crisis at 30 (Teehee)
I mean, honestly? You're what got me through Freshman year.
And most of Sophomore year.
I guess this year was us establishing that we are both independant women.
I'll try to stay here....I'll wait here....
Just don't let what happened to you and your not-best-friend-anymore of 7 years happen to us, okay? (I don't think either of us are psycho enough to do that anymore)

I luff you with two x's, even if I don't get to see you as often.
I luff everyone in the "chill group" even if I'm not invited to the more recent chills.
Even if I've been forgotten within the group.
It's okay.
I'll move on.
I just want you to know that I luff you.
And I miss you guys.

Well, that was an emo-esque post if I ever saw one.
I gotta get back to being a happy kid...doing my psych homework (;>.>)
Ja mattane....(sp?)

1 comment:

Braden said...

Moving on and drifting apart is never fun. :(