Because happy, that's why.

You make me happy.



That is all.





34.
155 (give or take).
Forever.

I miss you

So much.

I want to rewind the clock.

Go back a few weeks.

Relive the 16th-18th of October

It's only been 20 days.

Why does it feel like it's been so much longer?

BecauseIloveyou,that'swhy.

BecauseIneedyou.

At least we have googletalk and Heywire, right?

And facebook and videos?

Technology isn't all that bad, is it?

It's my savior right now.

It will continue to be until you come back.

Come back.

New tattoo!

Completed!

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, which is nice.

But it definitely huuurrtt.

Luckily I had a couple of really awesome friends there who made it a lot more bearable.

Also, Ice cream afterwards didn't hurt anyone XD

So, I made an FB album of the process.

Here ya go!

For the curious few:

When I say it hurt, imagine a bunch of tiny rubberbands slapping you. Many, many times.

You know how it burns and stings more as you progress? Yeah.

And the closer to the tender part of my chest (the bottom of the last hirigana and the closing quotation (looks like a bracket) mark felt like a legitimate burn.

My tip? Talking helped me. I talked quickly and without breathing (XD) about fish and colorful things and stupid professors and anything my Roommate, friend and I could think of. Eventually all we were saying is "ICE CREAM SOON." "It's almost done!" "Omigod really?"

It helped distract me from the pain.

Also, I squeezed the crap out of my roomie's hand. (Thanks, Ange!) :D

Tattoo Blog

A few years ago (maybe 4?) I decided that I wanted a tattoo.

I had an idea of what I wanted (ganbatte or ganbare in hiragana), but I had no idea when I would get it, how I wanted it to look or where I would want it.

Last year I began thinking about getting it on my wrist...it'd be visible, and easy to hide under long-sleeved things or thick wristbands.

I decided that's tacky a year later.

Having finally turned 18, I've decided it's high time I get this tattoo I've wanted since...freshman year in high school.

SO, come August, I began my more intense research.

I looked up how-tos on aftercare, I watched videos, I searched and asked questions on tattooing forums, I asked tattoo'd friends questions about the process, the aftermath and how they feel about their tattoos. I set a place I want the tattoo. I designed my tatttoo. I looked up portfolios of local artists, I asked more friends about said artists. I visited parlours; I scheduled a meeting with the artist I wanted. I looked at pictures of nasty, nasty infections. I looked at pictures of old people with tattoos. I looked up screwed up tattoos. I looked up femme tattoos; I looked up step-by-step guides for the process and aftercare. I looked up accounts from other first-time tattooers.

So. Every day I'm going to post about the process and what's happening to me/my tattoo.

Day one: 7 hours until tattoo.

I will draw this later...

"Hello, Ali Baba Grill."

"Hello, is this the Ali Baba Grill?"

"Yes."

"Do you do buffet?"

"Yes, our buffet is from 11-3."

"And what time is your buffet?"

"From 11-3 Sunday through Friday."

"Okay so your buffet is 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Do you have buffet Sunday?"

"Yes."

"From 11-3?"

"Yes."

"Okay, thank you, bye-bye."

"Bye."

*facepalm*

Happy

Goodness, I'm happy.

I've a good job, great coworkers, an awesome guy...

I've surpassed my monetary goal for the summer...

I've managed to go out most days after work (though never very far) with my local friends, I've been able to see mom on some of my days off, and I'm finally getting to know Irving.

I mean, sure, there are things I'd like to do better, or have more time for, but overall.... I'm pretty darned happy.

Estoy contento con mi vida, ahora :)

(^Definitely guessed at the phrasing. Is that correct at all?)

Quotable Quotes

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."~ Ingrid Bergmen

-We should totally go to Applebees.

-[Horrified look] Huh?

-Well, not now. Later.

-Oh [pause] yeah. I've always wanted a daughter.

-Ohgodno.

(get it? Applebees-Have Babies)

~Conversation amongst friends.

"I want to crush you up and make perfume out of you." ~ Alan

Areallie.blog.com

This is my best friend's blog.

She posted something about having her wants and needs cross paths...I responded

"You want to live, yes? And breathing is necessary for living. You -need- to breathe.
They’ve crossed paths, honey.
I’m sure this hit you because we’re out of high school. Our wants are rationalized now. We can’t want everything anymore. It’s irresponsible, it’s impossible and it’s disappointing. Now we’ve both reached a stage in our life that requires us to decide if we really need something, including needing to want something."

I felt it was something I should share.
Also, go check out her blog.

www.areallie.blog.com

She's a gifted writer.

Senior Year is almost over

Thespian Induction, Prom and Sign-out sheets all point to one thing: The end of Senior Year.

It's an exciting time.
I'm ready to move on to the next step in life-to go to college.
But, I'm nervous and I will miss everyone OH SO MUCH.

Anyway.
Boring blogpost over.

Commence the Count-down

There are:

12 SCHOOL DAYS until my final Final Exam

16 DAYS until my final Final Exam

23 SCHOOL DAYS until Graduation

30 DAYS until Graduation

25 DAYS and 1 MONTH until Freshman Orientation at UNT

22 DAYS and 3 MONTHS until I turn 18

23 DAYS and 3 MONTHS until my first day at UNT

Here's a count-down :3

Ahhhhhhhhh

What to do?

What to do?

Updating blogs while being bored is not a good idea.

Throw in jaw-pain and random over-excitement for college and you've got a mixture for disaster!

SO, to entertain myself....please, please go to my formspring and ask me questions!

As a soon-to-be College Student

I'm pretty darned stoked.

And I feel it's high-time I show some spirit for my new school: University of North Texas!

Now, for all of you who don't know what the CLAW OF DOOM is, I will now walk you through it, step-by-step.

FIRST: Put your right hand in the air and make a fist!

NEXT: Make a peace sign using your middle and pointer fingers

THEN: Throw your thumb out, like you're a small german child counting to "three"

FINALLY: Slightly curve your fingers inward, making a claw!

YOUR HAND SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS:

Anyway, go Eagles!

Death

Death is a scary thing.

However, it's not necessarily the "dying" part that scares me.

It's the finality of it.

The fact that, after that last breath, nothing will come after it.

Nothing is in your control anymore, and people will move on.

Without You.

I don't think people are afraid of death. Not really, anyway.

People are afraid of losing control.

Losing the ability to foresee and follow through.

Once you've died, that's it.

There's no more.

The world you've created is literally out of your hands.

And that is a scary thought.

Thanks, Death of a Salesman.

10 things

Gloomyunderwoods on Deviant Art posted this new meme "Childhood beliefs" where you write down 10 things you used to believe as a child.
Hopefully tomorrow or sometime soon I'll illustrate these and post them too :)
I have some cute ideas for them!

Anyway here they are:
---
1. I could "scare" traffic lights into changing to green
2. It was possible to grow up to be an animal of some sort (usually a feline).
3. If it was darker in a specific spot than the surrounding area, there was a portal to a seperate dimension hidden there, and if you get too close you'll get pulled in. This portal showed up in my shower during hide-and-seek a LOT.
4. If I closed my eyes, crossed my legs and concentrated hard enough, I could float up/down the stairs.
5. 16 was the absolute best age EVAR. You could drive, were pretty, were in high school and had a boyfriend. Basically, you're a mini-adult PLUS all the fun!
6. All my dolls, stuffed animals and toys would "come to life" when I was not looking, or wasn't around. And if I abused them, they would become sad and despondent.
7. God had a little camera installed in each room, and in the trees outside so he could see you on one of those massive security-camera-screen things you see in the movies.
8. My mom had magic-hands. Once, my leg was absolutely COVERED in ants, and she swiped down my leg, and all the ants disappeared.
9. If you cut a sandwich into triangles, as opposed to squares, the sandwich will taste better.
10. Barney was real. I saw a Barney concert, and though I could see where his head, hands and feet met the main part of his costume, I couldn't find a zipper. I assumed he was wearing protective gear that looked exactly like his hands/feet/head to keep him from getting sick or hurt or something. But...no zipper=real.

Hmmm..Colleges, Colleges.

I've been accepted to:

Drexel

Kings College

Stephens College

I've been rejected from:

University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music (CCM)

I'm still awaiting letters from:

Ithaca College

NYU ~ Tisch

Southern Methodist University.

AHHSOSTRESSED.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/bokuwashitteru

formspring.me

What a waste of a post.

Sometimes

I feel invisible. Which is a horrible feeling, you know?

The kind where people sit on you because they "didn't see you there," or look directly at you, but are actually staring at that poster behind your head, and they didn't realize they were looking in your direction?

And I've had these boughts of invisibility here and there, generally on days where I feel useless or tired. But when I'm wide awake, talking, able and willing... that's when it's weird. That's when it sticks out.

Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you I don't shut up. Seriously. I'm the world's biggest blabbermouth. I will talk people into a stupor if they let me (but they generally won't let me). So when I'm talking, I don't expect you to pay attention to the crap pouring out of my mouth (that's what most of it is, anyway), but I do expect you to acknowledge my existence. Please?

Another self-absorbed issue I will now share with you, my loving anon: I've a crush and I've no clue what to do with it.

It's been a very long time since I've liked a guy and he didn't immediately proclaim he likes me back and promptly asks me to go out with him (to which I say yes). Albeit, I've never had such a problem with guys I seriously do -not- like (in that way) liking me, and continually (awkwardly) hitting on me. But, alas... I like a guy. I've actually had a dream about this guy (whoa, what?) and I'm pretty positive he doesn't like me back.

As a girl who's never had this issue, what the heck am I supposed to do?

Pine silently? Embarrass myself and ask him out (knowing he'll say no)? Or... wait?

BLUGH.

Also, mom says "pickle pickle!"

In a bit of an art-block. I want to draw, I really do; but after seeing my "artwork" in the form of real-life paints (acrylic) I'm utterly dissatisfied with my inability to do anything artistic outside of a computer. I want to practice on paper... I want to... I want...

Jesus, I'm self-centered.

No wonder I piss off people after knowing them so long...

Huh.

I guess that's what a blog is for though, right?

Talking about one's self to an anonymous audience that may or may not care (read: not) about what the heck it is I'm babbling about now.

Okay.

I need food.

I need someone to tell me I'm not pointless who isn't a concerned friend (read: a boyfriend).

ALSO.

If you're writing an essay and your teacher says "put your voice into it," don't put in cute phrases like "Read: [blankety blank-blank]". You'll get points knocked off for that. And a lovely red-inked note saying "Don't demand your reader to do anything. That's off-putting."

If I could, I would have added in a lovely green-inked response "Screw you."

MOSQUITO.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/bokuwashitteru

Ahhh

First time in (what was it?) thirty-something years to snow six inches in Texas.

SIX INCHES!

---

Ninja was played far too frequently today, but that game is addicting so no one really cares. ;)

---

Stupid crushes are stupid, but for some reason I can't let this one go.

---

Humans' teeth are built to grind/tear through meat for a reason, so stop hounding me about enjoying my fear-filled meal (those who've seen August Osage County ought to get this one).

---

Only Mia knows the extent, but everyone'll find out anyway...but will [insert name here] figure it out? (Answer: Probably. I'm not good at being inconspicuous)

---

Had a dream about the school. Dancing in the costume shop was involved, as well as all the mimes. Other things were involved, of course, but I'm too lazy to type it out.

---

I'm downloading a song titled "Don't Download This Song." I am giggling to myself at the irony.

---

Rarely do I feel like I'm invisible (I talk far too much for that to be very possible), but when it happens... it sucks.

---

Joseph Conrad: I enjoy your books, but why do you have to be so long-winded? To prove you know how to write? Silly man, we all know you can!

---

Louisa May Alcott: Why was I so anti-"reading Little Women"?

Perhaps it was the bible that did the trick... You know, the one that hit me upside the head when I tried to check out that book? Yeah. That bible.

Anyway, it's been seven years since my last attempt, and I'm enjoying your book now :D

---

Ira Levin: Your book has motivated so much. An entire mime was written based off of your book (This Perfect Day), and it is what really, truly inspired my light design for said mime. Hearts!

---

Mia Antoinette Crowe: You understand me so well, it's actually scary. But I don't care. I'd rather accidentally get lost driving around with you than driving home alone any day. :)

---

Elizabeth Berkman: Mia and I were talking about how we envy you. You're brilliant, gorgeous and super talented. We don't know how you do it, but I love you :D

---

Amy Zapien: If you cut off all your hair, we must go man-hunting... and eat cake! And then we all will have a HUGE slumberparty or something! Yes!

---

Booker T: I've never not wanted to miss a day of school so much until today. Seriously. Snow day? People who live two hours north of us handle snow better! Blughbughbugh

HOWEVER, I guess I can't complain too much--sleeping in is something I have yet to experience this week, and I'd like to get a head start on it tomorrow! BUT WHY DID YOU CANCEL UTOPIA?!

---

I will seriously punch the next person who says "totes" to me. Or "jels," "lohl," "Burrb," "b-f-f," or any other stupidly abbreviated words to me. Seriously. Speak. English.

Art dump? YES AGAIN!

Okay, for this I must elaborate.

I'm notorious for dying/cutting/completely changing my hair every two or three months (in fact, I'm due again) at school. And every once and a while, people ask me "how many colours/cuts/styles have you done in the last four years?" And I never know what to answer. So, I dug up a bunch of old photos, and created this collage, from November my freshman year right up to now. Disclaimer: These are NOT all of the colours I've done. These are ONLY cuts :D.

This one, here, is part of a meme on Deviant art, where you draw yourself a few years ago, and yourself now.

As you can tell, I've...completely changed XD

At least my clothing matches, ne?

ART DUMP? WHY YES.

"Working on backgrounds"
"Slimfast+Burger=Wrong!"
"insomni-bunny"

"jillian"
"CAD? Oh yes"
"Bou: Complete"
"Abstract"
"Doodles. Bleh"